I don't think anyone can do Halloween better than Modern Family.
Phil: We love Halloween!
Claire: I'm sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.
Mitchell: There are exactly 3 people in costumes. A tool, a douche, and me.
Jay: It's Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, not carpool tunnel syndrome.
Claire: Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen?
Mitchell: I'm trapped in the men's room and all I have on is a Spiderman costume.
Haley: I'm Mother Teresa. Back when she was hot.
Claire: I'll pay you $10 to put on more clothes.
Jay: Did she just get back from the dentist?
Cam: I wanted to run too, but my hump got stuck on a rosebush.
Cam: And then the townspeople started chasing me, and that's when I wet my pants.
Cam: I lived on a farm... they lived in town, they were townspeople.
Gloria: He came out of nowhere and he scared the Baby Jesus out of me.
Claire: Halloween is a crazy-ass holiday!
Cam: That's a lot of complaining for someone that asked for thirds of our tendoori turkey last year.