The gang is dealing with a lot. Jay isn't feeling well, Haley breaks up with Dylan, and Manny gives medical advice. Haley: Are you familiar with the term Dunphy party of one? Cam: Missouri has a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene. Mitchell: Cam loves his Mom. Jay: Gloria thinks Americans are babies. Manny: I'm not loving your color. Claire: How long have I been paying this guy to make out with you? Phil: Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Kincannon did me. Mitchell: Cam's Mother spent half of the dinner with her hands all over me. Phil: Now that you are broken up you can call me whatever you like. Phil, P-Daddy. Mitchell: Put your fingers all over my fanny. Your magic fingers. Mitchell: Cam, put the doll down! Dylan: I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat. Jay: Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital. Dylan: I got your texts, you swore a lot. Phil: You're the other girl? Gloria: Do you want me to burp you? Come here, come here. Manny: It's true, it's usually the anesthesia that gets you. Phil: His car is 30-years old and doesn't have a muffler. Phil: So Dylan, you get a chance to listen to that song i sent you? Got seven minutes.