A lot of Phil Dunphy this week on Modern Family. Phil: Don't get too close to my wife. Cam: I think that gay cruise has sailed. Cam: You're not theatre folk. Gloria: Where am I going to find another husband that wears sweatpants to work? Jay: It's resort wear. Gloria: Maybe last resort. Many: What was that siren? Jay: It was your mother. Haley: I'm in bed with my mom. Stop freaking out, it's not coming true.
Phil: You care about germs? I've seen you kiss a pigeon on the lips.
Phil: Beep, Beep, you're not a man.
Phil: It's an apron. It's unisex.
Phil: I'm sorry, I burnt my ladyfingers.
Cam: How did you get on the set? Mitchell: I walked on, It's not MGM. Cam: It's called niche casting. Cam: Don't you think this commercial is the tiniest bit racist? Phil: Just need the old burglar basher.