It's Thanksgiving on Modern Family and the family members ask "what if?"
Phil wonders whether he would have been a better person, father and husband, if he had applied himself more. Jay (Ed O'Neill) decides Manny (Rico Rodriguez) could use a little more constructive criticism, if only to toughen him up and improve his chances when he becomes a man. And Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) takes it personally after a well-meaning Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) questions the veracity of some of his more fanciful childhood stories.
It all comes to a head at Thanksgiving with the family divided between the “Dreamers” and the “Pritchetts."
Here are the quotes.
Phil: At least buy me dinner first!
Phil: He was the sweet kid who lived next door.
Phil: Why hug when you can man shake.
Cam: I think I have to tell my Punkin Chunkin Story.
Cam: The pumpkin sails through the air, goal post to goal post.
Manny: My juices were really flowing on this one.
Jay: Centerpieces for starters.
Jay: This thing is a horn of ugly.
Haley: Ease up it's a holiday.
Kenneth: I'm in town to buy a blimp.
Kenneth: What would Phil Dunphy do?
Phil: He's me and he's spectacular.
Haley: Saying nothing isn't lying.
Mitchell: It was a supportive Wah Wah
Cam: Rain or shine, there's always a bumper crop of stories.
Phil: I bet this is how the French do Thanksgiving.
Luke: Why aren't we the jillionaires?
Manny: I think this might be a job for cumin.
Claire: Do you know what is illegal in Europe? Nothing!
Phil: Sometimes I need to be pumped up and frilly.
Phil: You're folding my dreams!
Phil: I love your "I Love You", getting sick of your but.
Manny: You hit those potholes pretty hard.
Jay: I saw them.
Jay: It's great and it's grrrrrrrrrrreeeeaaat
Manny: He said it was a swing and a miss.
Phil: The real Head Scratcher TM
Phil: It's like a 1,000 tiny angels are line dancing on my scalp.
Phil: Let's settle this, Dreamers vs. Pritchetts.
Jay: I'm just trying to get the kid ready for life.
Gloria: We only hvae one pumpkin and we just chunked it.
Manny: Maybe if this works, we should launch my centerpeice next.
Claire: Three more seconds and you would've got away with it.