The family is gathered at Jay and Gloria’s pool on a sunny December day, and that’s where they realize that everyone will be scattered this coming Christmas, so if they want to celebrate together, then it will have to be today! Everyone sets off with their respective duties for Express Christmas – Mitchell, Alex and Lily get the tree, Jay and Cameron are in charge of gift wrapping, Phil and Manny get the groceries, Gloria and Luke go retrieve the ornaments, and Claire and Haley shop for all the gifts.
Here we go with the quotes.
Jay: Yay, I just got my gift.
Haley: It was in her holiday newsletter.
Cam: We can spend Christmas in Missouri.
Cam: Who do you think we're seeing in Missouri, The Oakridge Boys?
Haley: Hey Math Club, can you get me some more lemonade?
Phil: Express Christmas, I just invented it.
Luke: With all the snatchings...
Cam: We have a mobile wrapping station.
Phil: On Prancer and Vixen. That kind of worked out!
Alex: My mom told me it's Xmas in a text.
Gloria: Luke!
Luke: At what?
Mitchell: It needs to be a Douglas Fir, at least eight feet tall.
Alex: Oh symmetry, oh symmetry!
Lily: I have two daddy's.
Cam: Why so much tape, Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Jay: How would I remember having win with my son's boyfriend?
Claire: And one more pack of gum.
Manny: Why don't you put a sign on me that says "free kid"?
Phil: Mint condition.... Fair condition..... Garbage
Luke: Smells like moth balls, just like Grandma.
Gloria: Never look back!
Alex: Maybe we can salvage it.
Jay: Tough to decorate the tree with no tree.
Luke: I got the tire marks off the wings.
Mitchell: Here comes the tree.
Alex: Here comes more of the tree.
Gloria: Is that my stun gun?
Mitchell: This looks like the lady she used to be before she became an angel.
Manny: I risked my life grocery shopping.
Gloria: It makes everyday December 16.
Phil: I picked it up when we stopped for gas.
Cam: He loves dog antlers.