This week, Claire and Phil have a fight and Claire gets the couch. Jay gets Gloria a karaoke machine and she can't stop singing. Also, Cam and Mitchell keep trying to outdo each other.
Here are the quotes:
Phil: You don't need to apologize.
Phil: But, no.
Phil: A racoon got in and your mom fought it off with a fire extinguisher.
Gloria: Touch my cheek before you leave me...
Cam: Don't I, Mitchell?
Jay: Why don't you two go work on your story.
Luke: Is this upscale casual?
Gloria: What can't I do you?
Phil: You can do me.
Cam: Luke, how are those chairs coming?
Luke: Are you going to get upset and eat all the appetizers again?
Cam: Donald, that is the name of your cat, isn't it?
Phil: I'm just a little tense today.
Manny: That's a lot of cheddar.
Claire: Oh God, yes. Get after it!
Phil: Happy Valenbirthaversarry!
Phil: I thought you were a raccoon!
Gloria: If you give me a message this tiny, I kill you.
Phil: Wedge salad, you have to try it.
Gloria: I don't even know why she talks to you.
Gloria: Chin up, up.
Jay: When you get a massage you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.
Cam: And Steven and Stefan?
Luke: Uncle Cam for Uncle Mitchell.
Phil: We're all just playing for second in this family.
Phil: I penciled her in for the 12th of never.
Phil: If your mother had a name tag it would say good driver.
Phil: Do yourself a favor and join me in a wedge salad.
Haley: Mom's little outburst just got me fired.
Luke: i could start a fire.
Cam: Keep that in your back pocket.
Phil: I changed my forestry major.
Phil; I've got Claire all over me.
Andrew: Bored is right.
Cam: This is double what Andrew had last year for Cello Submarine.
Manny: It's not singing it's screaming. Coward!
Manny: You keep this up, and it won't be the last plug I pull.
