Cam and Mitchell have a gay night out, Haley babysits, and Phil and Claire confront their old, weird neighbor. Nathan Lane guest stars.
Manny: Hump Day, am I right Jay?
Manny: Are the movie right available for that one?
Phil: Testosterone vs. Estrogen.
Phil: Yep, I'm not going over there.
Phil: Mr. Clezak is not a nice person.
Mitchell: Saturday we are having dinner with Pepper, Longines, and Crispin. Our "Home Boys"
Cam: You mean "Homo Boys"
Cam: Haley is a sweet and fashionable girl.
Cam: We'll just pop over to the Orient and get another one.
Luke: We have oxygen, but we don't need tanks.
Claire: Honey, you have to stop watching the news.
Phil: That and anything set with the backdrop of competitive cheerleader.
Phil: Now, it's so dark.
Haley: You just go and get your gay on.
Phil: I thought we were singing Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.
Phil: I'm going to walk like a man, fast as I can, right to that bar over there. If you knew Frankie Valli, you'd be laughing right now.
Cam: Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.
Michell: he doesn't know I'm this gay.
Longines: He looks like that dentist you hooked up with in Laguna.
Jay: Your name is Longines?
Longines: I know, I never had a shot.
Mr. Clezak: You're the guy who just broke into my house and fondled me.
Phil: Oh God, he's seen my sexy dance!
Jay: You're better than that Crispin.
Crispin: Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Haley: Maybe you think I'm shaped like a boy.
Jay: You've never seen me a shower. Don't go there.
Mitchell: Rob Lowe!
Cam: Where?
Haley: They're gay, they know what shoes they own!
Pepper: I hope you like blueberry scones and ...
Michell: Give Pepper a big kiss for me.
Gloria: That's someone's name, Pepper?
Pepper: It's 2 hours not including our stop at the outlet mall.
Pepper: How rich are you?
Mr. Clezak Don't go throwing any parades, their onions.
Phil: This so sweet.
Mr. Clezak: Just don't start dancing.
Cam: Are you talking about Rob Lowe?
Mitchell: I think his good looks held him back.
Haley: You were invading my 1st Amendment right to privacy.
