Claire has a televised debate as she tries to win a city council seat. Lily is going to be a flower girl and she also learns a bad word, and Jay blames Gloria for the dog's behavior.
Here are the quotes.
Phil: Some voters find Claire angry and unlikeable!
Claire: How many people read the Weekly Saver?
Phil: Spooky but better.
Cam: I was a three-time ring bearer.
Cam: Or Little Bo Cheap?
Jay: Why don't you greet me at the door wagging your tail?
Manny: I got caught up in my couponing.
Gloria: Why does she bark at the vacuum?
Claire: I thought the moderator was supposed to be objective.
Luke: I'm bored. i feel like I'm in school.
Luke: You have to be ready for hecklers.
Haley: You were showing me the bad side of your face.
Phil: She's ready.
Cam: I have two weaknesses; children swearing and old people rapping.
Mitchell: I have two children.
Haley: Mom, don't go viral.
Gloria: We are going to cheer for you, no matter what you say.
Jay: She might be suicidal.
Gloria: She's just stupid.
Duane: I like to call them bottomless pits of need.
Jay: This man won a Pugly.
Mitchell: We leave town on Gay Pride Weekend because we don't like the traffic.
Phil: She's in the zone.
Duane: Your husband was questioned at a hotel for lewd and lascivious behavior.
Cam: This is my new favorite show.
Duane: I have some talking puggles I'd like to sell you.
Voter: Are you sex freaks?
Jay: It's like watching the Hindenburg.
Phil: I'm Phil Dunphy and I'm not a pervert.
Phil: No charges were filed.
Claire: We went viral.
Gloria: No Jay, I wanted to take a little swim before going to the wedding.
Manny: It was phenomenal television.
Luke: She looks like a Lite Brite.
Cam: Ships at sea wouldn't miss Lily.
Cam: You know I cry at weddings.
Gloria: She was trying to get to the squeaky weiner.