The big question on everyone's mind in tonight's all new episode of The Big Bang Theory is "what's wrong with Sheldon?"
Penny and Leonard are shocked when Sheldon doesn't want to take his usual spot on the couch, which leads both of them to wonder what could have possibly happened to him to make him change his routine. As it turns out, Sheldon's barber got sick and has been hospitalized, which completely ruins his entire schedule and sends him into a tailspin.
Meanwhile, Wolowitz gets a letter from NASA to report for astronaut training on Monday. While he enjoys rubbing the fact that he's an astronaut in his friends' faces, his experience with the training makes him rethink his decision to head up into space.
Here are the quotes:
Sheldon: He's not a barber, he's a nephew.
Sheldon: He has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you have access to my haircut records?
Sheldon: If I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you.
Leonard: When you tell this story later, the word we usually use is "quirky"
Howard: O my god I'm an astronaut...
Sheldon: I feel like a teen heartthrob.
Sheldon: I'm sorry it's the bad guy attitude that comes with this hair.
Amy: I'm a cowboy... I'm wanted dead or alive.
Sheldon: It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.
Amy: Bare back and bare chested.
Howard; The throw up kind of floats there like a little ball, sometimes it just floats right back in.
Sheldon: Get well "beary soon"
Sheldon: Move towards the sound of these scissors.
Penny: He can't go here because of my lighthouse.
Sheldon: Between you playing chess like Bobby Fisher...
Sheldon: My bowel movement spreadsheet...
Leonard; Good I'm taking that disgusting spreadsheet off the fridge.
Sheldon: I should embrace the chaos.
Howard: I blacked out a little on the way to the bathroom.
Howard: At some point during the night an armadillo crawled in and spooned me.
Howard: I ate a butterfly.
Howard; Send more underwear!
Sheldon: Hey Leonard, do you like my bongos.
Penny: I don't don't care if was a purple leprechaun that lived in my butt!
Amy: I foolishly thought it was some sort of musical booty call.
Amy: There isn't a hair on this body I wouldn't let this woman trim.
Sheldon: Relax, it was just her bottom and her breasts.
Shelton: It's a little Hollywood, I think I can pull it off.