Kaley Cuoco in Body Paint and a Bikini

She's newly split from fiance Josh "Lazie" Resnick, so Kaley Cuoco of "The Big Bang Theory" is out having fun.

She and a friend Tweeted some pictures from a vacation in Anguilla.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Werewolf Transformation"

The big question on everyone's mind in tonight's all new episode of The Big Bang Theory is "what's wrong with Sheldon?"

Penny and Leonard are shocked when Sheldon doesn't want to take his usual spot on the couch, which leads both of them to wonder what could have possibly happened to him to make him change his routine. As it turns out, Sheldon's barber got sick and has been hospitalized, which completely ruins his entire schedule and sends him into a tailspin.

Meanwhile, Wolowitz gets a letter from NASA to report for astronaut training on Monday. While he enjoys rubbing the fact that he's an astronaut in his friends' faces, his experience with the training makes him rethink his decision to head up into space.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: He's not a barber, he's a nephew.

Sheldon: He has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas.

Sheldon: Do you have access to my haircut records?

Sheldon: If I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you.

Leonard: When you tell this story later, the word we usually use is "quirky"

Howard: O my god I'm an astronaut...

Sheldon: I feel like a teen heartthrob.

Sheldon: I'm sorry it's the bad guy attitude that comes with this hair.

Amy: I'm a cowboy... I'm wanted dead or alive.

Sheldon: It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.

Amy: Bare back and bare chested.

Howard; The throw up kind of floats there like a little ball, sometimes it just floats right back in.

Sheldon: Get well "beary soon"

Sheldon: Move towards the sound of these scissors.

Penny: He can't go here because of my lighthouse.

Sheldon: Between you playing chess like Bobby Fisher...

Sheldon: My bowel movement spreadsheet...

Leonard;  Good I'm taking that disgusting spreadsheet off the fridge.

Sheldon: I should embrace the chaos.

Howard: I blacked out a little on the way to the bathroom.

Howard: At some point during the night an armadillo crawled in and spooned me.

Howard: I ate a butterfly.

Howard; Send more underwear!

Sheldon: Hey Leonard, do you like my bongos.

Penny: I don't don't care if was a purple leprechaun that lived in my butt!

Amy: I foolishly thought it was some sort of musical booty call.

Amy: There isn't a hair on this body I wouldn't let this woman trim.

Sheldon: Relax, it was just her bottom and her breasts.

Shelton: It's a little Hollywood, I think I can pull it off.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Rothman Disintegration"

Sheldon and Kripke see who's the most athletic and Penny feels uncomfortable taking a rather "large" gift from Amy.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Dibs!

Sheldon: Offices are not assigned because someone calls dibs!

Raj: I'm glad that men are wearing hats again.  They are so distinguished.

Amy: A new lace bra that hooks in the front of all things.

Amy: I wanted to get you something you didn't have.

Amy: Where are you going to hang it?

President Siebert; I'm your boss and I'm holding my penis.

Sheldon: I can send you a link to a Youtube video showing you how to perform your own rectal exam.

Sheldon: By the way, butter is a great lubrican in performing your rectal exam.

Bernadette; That is big!

Bernadette: Do you like pictures of yourself where you look like you're a man.

Sheldon: If that doesn't work out, I'll poison his tea.

Kripke: I'll take Rothman's office and you so suck a wemon.

Sheldon: Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock

Kripke: I haven't watched Star trek since I discovered a strip club near my apartment that has a free buffet.

Sheldon: Five what?

Kripke: Wan out of woom.

Leonard: Nothing that is happening here is being done on purpose.

Sheldon: Use the Force, Sheldon.  You need more force.

Sheldon: I've bounced many a rubber ball in my day.

Leonard; Ok stop the trash talking.

Penny: I can't believe you have never seen "Grease"

Amy: Those singing hooligans really got my juices flowing.

Amy: I'm just glad I didn't go for the sculpture.

Amy: I bought you a painting that is 12 square feet.

Penny: It made Bernadette very jealous.

Amy: Of the three of us, she is the least cool.

Sheldon: I'm trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples freeze through my shirt.

Sheldon: That's a mockingbird, he's mocking me.

Sheldon: Hey gravel monkeys!

Sheldon: You geo-loving feldspar junkies!

Amy: Originally we were painted nude.

Sheldon: My head got stuck.  It's called scientific curiosity

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Vacation Solution"

Sheldon has to take a vacation, so he goesto work with Amy and will Howard and Bernadette sign a pre-nup?

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Physics - Mad Libs

Howard: I haven't seen him laugh that hard since Leonard made a multiplication error.

Suggestion Box: Can Dr. Copper take a vacation?

Sheldon: I'm sneaking into work.

Sheldon: It's how Velma and Shaggy smuggled Scooby into the old lighthouse.

Bernadette: Hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew.

Amy: You, would fetch a unicorn.

Sheldon: Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.

Sheldon: A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach.

Leonard: Leonard's got to get paid.

Amy: It's going to be romantic.

Sheldon: A little hazing for the new fellow?

Sheldon: It's like asking the Incredible Hulk to open a pickle jar.

Sheldon: I bought a tamagotchi in 1998 and it's still alive.

Raj: Follow your heart.

Howard: I some rare comic books.  The Vespa is almost paid off.

Raj: Mr. Roper is dead!

Sheldon: Biologists are mean.

Sheldon: This place needs a suggestion box.

Sheldon: When I was in kindergarten, I recited Pi to 1,000 places.

Sheldon: It takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

Sheldon: I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.

Sheldon: Yea, you're a biologist.

Sheldon: Social convention is stupid.

Howard: We're grown men, we drink at bars.

Sheldon: This is a fairly substantial wound.

Sheldon: I had lost a lot of thumb blood.

Sheldon: Next year I'm going to EPCOT.

Bernadette: He still carries his gun.  it's more of a fashion statement.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Friendship Contraction"

Has Sheldon gone too far this time?  Leonard has had enough and the friendship may be over.  Wolowtiz is also trying to pick out his astronaut nickname.

Sheldon: Pick a catastrope any catastrophe

Sheldon: Put on your hard hat and safety vest!

Leonard: I get to spend the next couple hours in front of our apartment dressed like one of the Village People.

Howard: This is going right in my synagogue's newsletter.

Raj: Mine would be Brown Dynamite.

Sheldon: I thought I got on a bus, but i got on a booze cruise to Mexico.

Leonard: I'm sick of the roommate agreement.

Sheldon: Clause 209 ceases our friendship.

Sheldon: You have not got a friend in me.

Bernadette: He's going to learn to poop in space.

Amy: I've got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys.

Sheldon: Titled, "You're Welcome Mankind"

Sheldon: Supercuts?

Sheldon: Who wants to spend the day with me at Ikea?

Sheldon: My penpal in Somalia was just kidnapped by pirates.

Sheldon: Get on the short list for the #8 friend slot.

Raj: How about Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?

Raj: How about Howard 'Crash" Wolowitz?

Raj: How about Rocketman?

Leonard: They ended up calling me sock mouth.

Raj: They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothing.

Raj: Sock Mouth has got him on the ropes.

Sheldon: I'm sure some fool in the Donner Party said the snow would stop anytime now.

Penny: I've got wine at my place and some bubble wrap we can pop.

Sheldon: I'm making smores.

Sheldon: I'm going to have a smore by myself, them some smore..... by myself.

Sheldon: Took my a gallon of urine to make that water.

Sheldon: We could call it Leonard's Day.

Raj: They don't make you a knight for writing "Wake Me Up before I Go Go"

Massimino: No problem Fruit Loops!