The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Roommate Transmogrification"

Bernadette gets her Ph.D., making the guys to tease Wolowitz about his lack of a doctorate and will Raj become Sheldon's new roommate?

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon:  Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.

Howard:  Bonding over your rooty, tooty stinky booty.

Penny:  Howard you know a lot of doctors.

Leonard:  Do you make a buttload?

Howard:  I know what you make a buttload of.

Penny:  About the car window thing, it may help, but it's not peachy.

Priya:  I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.

Mrs. Wolowitz;  Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo.

Amy:  Yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.

Amy: Bear down on it like the 7th grade noogies we all know so well.

Sheldon:  My hands are magic!

Raj: Tyra Banks says the most important item in your make up bag is a good night sleep.

Leonard:  Mouth to mouth Mona.

Raj: Sheldon doesn't get along with Sheldon.

Raj:  A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Raj:  This says you can make end of life decisions for me.

Leonard: Bring a ball or Frisbee, something he can chase.

Sheldon:  I do a live webcast called "Apartment Chat."

Sheldon:  I'm just realized how much Leonard has been skating by all these years.

Raj:  Just call me the brown Martha Stewart.

Raj:  I'm the new homo in town.

Sheldon:  Origami napkin swans are the headline.

Bernadette:  I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project.

Sheldon:  When does a monkey have a trunk?

Penny:  When a suitcase just won't do.

Raj:  It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly disturbing pornography.

Sheldon:  And the answer was elephant.

Leonard: So, hot in India?

Sheldon: Rajesh and I hve a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it.

Sheldon: What does it look like?

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from 'The Engagement Reaction'

Howard's mother lands in the hospital after she finds out Howard and Bernadette may be engaged.  Are Penny and Priya getting chummy?

Here are the quotes:

Bernadette: Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?

Sheldon: I'm dead. 

Raj:  That's my sister and my country you are talking about.

Sheldon: He drank from Leonard's glass.  That will be etched on my tombstone.

Howard:  I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

Raj: She's got puddles in all the wrong places.

Howard:  The eagle has landed. 

Howard:  You mean Adolf and Eva?

Howard:  Stand back, I'm going to break the door down!

Sheldon:  I don't jibber-jabber.

Penny:  You are about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.

Sheldon:  Not all germs, just the ones that will kill me.

Howard:  After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was on a roll.

Howard:  My family is the history of heart disease.

Bernadette:  I have sex with him and she can't.

Priya:  They called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.

Howard:  One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

Sheldon:  Friendship requires a certain give and take.

Dr.:  She'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.

Raj: So you do a striptease?

Leonard:  There was one time I put body glitter on.

Leonard:  You really are a mean little man.

Leonard:  I'm the King of Foreplay.

Raj:  Hellhounds, who let the Satanic dogs out.

Raj: I've got a collosal serpent right here!

Raj: Rotting Zombie, Sheldon's new Facebook Photo.


The Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Wildebeest Implementation"

Is Raj able to talk to girls now?  And how sneaky are Penny and Bernadette?

Here are tonight's quotes:

Amy: Is she always this crabby when she urinates?

Amy: That bitch is crafty?

Bernadette:  What makes me the weakest member?

Amy: You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.

Penny:  I'll have to rent my womb to a gay couple.

Amy: Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.

Sheldon:  I finally have a handle on my idea for three-person chess.

Sheldon: The serpent and the old woman.

Leonard: Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.

Amy:  My metatarsals are barking!

Amy: Don't leer, you have a girlfriend.

Raj:  I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper that walks away with nine fingers.

Amy: The Wildebeest is in the curry.

Amy: Priya, wouldn't want to be ya.

Leonard: You kidding, 3-D.

Howard:  That shows the studio has faith in it.

Howard: I'm not going to help you, this is hilarious.

Bernadette: She's also dating an astronaut.

Sheldon: I don't want to hug you.

Sheldon: Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.  You look positively orange with loneliness.

Sheldon: Prince Joey.

Sheldon; The funny thing about Prince Joey is everytime he moves there is a one in five chance he kills himself.

Sheldon: You gobble these up like Tic Tacs.

Bernadette: I have to pee, or is that implausible as well?

Amy: We may have to kill her.

Bernadette: It was an architect!

Sheldon: I'm just here to observe.

Raj: Here, go buy yourself a scone.

Raj: She didn't even get see my penis. Ta Da!

Leonard: Gals, who are you, Fred Flintstone?

Leonard: I think the word you are looking for is befuddled.

Sheldon: My catapult slings my bishop.

Howard: Rook to transporter pad.

Leonard: When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart?

Sheldon: I knew I should've given my Pope the jet pack.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Agreement Dissection"

Leonard has had it with Shelton's famous "roommate agreement" so Priya springs into action like any good lawyer.  Sheldon takes up dancing.

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon: 32 oz. banana smoothie, 14 oz. bladder.

Priya:  Leonard, let the man pee!

Sheldon: Move, move, move.

Leonard:  Cool, I have a lawyer, and I've seen her naked.

Leonard; Licensed to practice law in 3 countries and your face.

Leonard: Schooled!

Leonard: Shower sex with you is the second best thing that happened today.

The guys: ooompa!

Leonard:  I got you the lamb kabob.

Sheldon:  The Greeks, they gave us science, democracy and little cubes of beef that taste like sweat.

Penny:  We'll probably be trashing Priya a little.

Bernadette:  What's up with those pants suits?

Amy: See,  crazy!

Amy:  You smell like baby powder.

Sheldon: it's talc.

Amy: You're a sexy toddler.

Sheldon:  I had to give mouth to mouth to a nun.

Amy:  Give me some sugar bestie!

Bernadette:  I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Sheldon:  I saved a nun's life, why am I being punished.

Bernadette: Muy caliente, Sheldon!

Sheldon:  It's hard to say no to Yoo Who!

Sheldon:  You own a smoking monkey?

Amy:  I can train him to shoot a poisoned dart.  No jury in the world will convict a monkey.

Sheldon: A stylized penile display.

Sheldon:  You really are an ass.

Sheldon: I never bluff.

Computer: Self destruct sequence aborted.

Sheldon: Good morning Amy!

Amy: It most certainly is not.

Amy:  I also found a Korean businesman's business card tucked in my cleavage.

Amy: They were out of menthols, get off my back!

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Herb Garden Germination"

Sheldon and Amy start rumors about themselves, and what's going on with Wolowitz and Bernadette?

Amy:  We work so hard, sometimes it nice to do something silly.

Sheldon:  Really Amy, gossip?

Sheldon:  Forgive my language, poppycock!

Sheldon:  I kid of course, big fan.

Sheldon:  My father taught me archery as a child.

Sheldon:  A prolonged exposure to penny has turned her into a Gabby Gertie.

Leonard:  Boy, you sure get your money's worth out of these games.

Leonard:  There is a big inspection coming up and I don't want to lose my television privileges.

Priya:  My brother has a big crush on Bernadette.

Priya:  He writes poetry.  Oh Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Penny:  I know how to keep a secret.

Raj:  I think you broke my toe.

Wolowitz:  I'm sorry, I was somewhere else.

Leonard:  Lucky bastard!

Raj:  Smile means something different in my country.  You know, tears of joy, smiles of sadness.

Amy:  He looks much cooler than the non smoking monkeys.  The others just sit around and masturbate.

Sheldon:  Everyone was set a twitter, although no one tweeted.

Sheldon:  The phrase Shelly Cooper is a smelly pooper spread like wildfire.

Sheldon:  You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Raj:  I just felt like drinking alone, because I'm deep and dark.

Penny: That gossipy bitch.

Penny:  Sheldon and Amy had sex!

Raj:  Shut your Ass!

Raj:  Can't believe old Smelly Pooper got laid.

Leonard:  What a lovely glow she has these days.

Sheldon:  As my mother would say, those Asians are an inscrutable folk.

Sheldon:  pretending to have intercourse with you has given me a great deal of satisfaction.

Amy:  The meme has reached full penetration.

Sheldon:  Blow-by-blow as it were.

Sheldon:  It's going to make me a chick magnet.

Bernadette:  Yes, I will marry you.

Raj:  You will?

Amy:  I'm getting orthodics, I'm also carrying Sheldon's baby, mums the word.