The Big Bang Theory Quotes from 'The Engagement Reaction'

Howard's mother lands in the hospital after she finds out Howard and Bernadette may be engaged.  Are Penny and Priya getting chummy?

Here are the quotes:

Bernadette: Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?

Sheldon: I'm dead. 

Raj:  That's my sister and my country you are talking about.

Sheldon: He drank from Leonard's glass.  That will be etched on my tombstone.

Howard:  I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

Raj: She's got puddles in all the wrong places.

Howard:  The eagle has landed. 

Howard:  You mean Adolf and Eva?

Howard:  Stand back, I'm going to break the door down!

Sheldon:  I don't jibber-jabber.

Penny:  You are about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.

Sheldon:  Not all germs, just the ones that will kill me.

Howard:  After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was on a roll.

Howard:  My family is the history of heart disease.

Bernadette:  I have sex with him and she can't.

Priya:  They called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.

Howard:  One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

Sheldon:  Friendship requires a certain give and take.

Dr.:  She'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.

Raj: So you do a striptease?

Leonard:  There was one time I put body glitter on.

Leonard:  You really are a mean little man.

Leonard:  I'm the King of Foreplay.

Raj:  Hellhounds, who let the Satanic dogs out.

Raj: I've got a collosal serpent right here!

Raj: Rotting Zombie, Sheldon's new Facebook Photo.


Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Agreement Dissection"

Leonard has had it with Shelton's famous "roommate agreement" so Priya springs into action like any good lawyer.  Sheldon takes up dancing.

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon: 32 oz. banana smoothie, 14 oz. bladder.

Priya:  Leonard, let the man pee!

Sheldon: Move, move, move.

Leonard:  Cool, I have a lawyer, and I've seen her naked.

Leonard; Licensed to practice law in 3 countries and your face.

Leonard: Schooled!

Leonard: Shower sex with you is the second best thing that happened today.

The guys: ooompa!

Leonard:  I got you the lamb kabob.

Sheldon:  The Greeks, they gave us science, democracy and little cubes of beef that taste like sweat.

Penny:  We'll probably be trashing Priya a little.

Bernadette:  What's up with those pants suits?

Amy: See,  crazy!

Amy:  You smell like baby powder.

Sheldon: it's talc.

Amy: You're a sexy toddler.

Sheldon:  I had to give mouth to mouth to a nun.

Amy:  Give me some sugar bestie!

Bernadette:  I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Sheldon:  I saved a nun's life, why am I being punished.

Bernadette: Muy caliente, Sheldon!

Sheldon:  It's hard to say no to Yoo Who!

Sheldon:  You own a smoking monkey?

Amy:  I can train him to shoot a poisoned dart.  No jury in the world will convict a monkey.

Sheldon: A stylized penile display.

Sheldon:  You really are an ass.

Sheldon: I never bluff.

Computer: Self destruct sequence aborted.

Sheldon: Good morning Amy!

Amy: It most certainly is not.

Amy:  I also found a Korean businesman's business card tucked in my cleavage.

Amy: They were out of menthols, get off my back!

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Cohabitation Formulation"

Wolowitz finds himself having to choose between Bernadette and his mother and Leonard has another encounter with Raj's sister Priya

Wolowitz: I do get carried away sometimes.

Bernadette:  You sound a little like a drunken monkey.

Wolowitz: My Mother needs me in the morning.

Bernadette: I think a woman can put on a wig by herself.

Wolowitz: Sex criminals don't have keys, Mom.

Mrs. Wolowitz: I know what that means. I watch Dr. Phil.

Wolowitz: Nobody has any diseases!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Is that what you want, to give your Mother herpes?

Leonard:  Still arguing over which CSI is the best?

Sheldon:  I'm upset we have an unannounced house guest, cocoa, Leonard.

Leonard:  That's a real pickle, bye.

Sheldon:  That's what tertiary friends are for.

Raj:  I forbidid it.

Raj:  You may talk in the bedroom, but I want this door to remain open.

Raj: I forbid you to hold hands.

Sheldon: The Hindu code of manu is very clear in these manners.

Sheldon: Leonard and Penny used to do the dance with no pants.

Raj:  Penny, why did you get disenchanted with Leonard as a lover?

Bernadette: If you Mom's nose holds up, we get to spend two nights together.

Amy Farrah Fowler:  Let's talk about Priya, that man stealing bitch.

Penny:  What do you mean, more suitable?

Amy Farrah Fowler: You are a community college drop out who wrote the book on tipping cows.

Wolowitz: I choose you.

Raj:  I'd love that.  Everybody in India says it the same way.

Sheldon:  If pepperoni was an explosive substance you would replace German Shepherds at out nation's airports.

Amy Farrah Fowler:  Who are you kidding, she's breathtaking.

Sheldon:  You get the part.

Sheldon:  Given the state of your career, can you afford to be picky?

Leonard:  What, with my tongue in your tail.

Wolowitz:  You got any string cheese?

Wolowitz:  I get little red bumps on my tookus.

Mrs Wolowitz:  Remember to floss, we have the dentist in the morning.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Now let's get these electrodes attached.

Sheldon:  It's actually Thai, you're slipping.

Amy Farrah Fowler:  What up Bestie!

Sheldon:  I'm sorry, it's not optional.