The Big Bang Theory Quotes from 'The Love Car Displacement'

Wolowitz feels threatened by Bernadette's ex-boyfriend, Rick Fox as the gang heads to Big Sur for a conference.  One of the all-time best Big Bangs.

Sheldon:  Who let the dogs out?

Sheldon:  How are they hanging?

Penny:  I'm your best friend?

Penny:  When you people say spa, does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?

Sheldon:  In order to take a vacation, one must work

Sheldon:  The first bathroom break is the Denny's near Bakersfield

Amy:  He had you in the other car, but i got you upgraded

Sheldon:  Red Leader to Red Five, come in.

Amy:  We decided we didn't want to ruin our relationship by getting to know each other

Bernadette:  If you are that tired, why don't you take a nap here in the car?

Penny:  It's a table, why can't there be food on it?

Sheldon:  Road Trip God does have a certain ring to it.

Howard:  It's the Love Car.

Glenn:  Bernie's a great girl.

Howard:  Please tell me he's your gay cousin.

Howard: It's not proportional.

Howard:  if you had sex with that guy, there is nothing I can do to make an..impact.

Amy: So...girl talk?  

Amy:  Our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.

Amy:  Penny and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.

Leonard:  It's a little like getting in Dracula's coffin.

Penny:  From the waist down my shields are up.

Leonard:  True Dat!

Leonard:  We don't want to watch Bridget Jones Diary.

Bernadette:  Even the tiniest of organisms can tear you a new one.

Bernadette:  I'm the kind of girl who can get all the giant missiles she wants.

Raj:  i think they are talking about penises.

Raj:  These mimosas are kicking my brown ass.

Raj:  I'd like to weigh in here, no.

Sheldon:  I spy with my little eye...

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Bus Pants Utilization"

The guys have an idea for a iPhone app.  And we find out Sheldon wears "bus pants".  Would you buy "Project Shoe?"

Howard:  On a laptop the trackpad is the mouse.

Sheldon:  Howard doesn't, he's only an engineer.

Raj:  You know what's a great app?  One that makes fart noises.

Howard:  I always have had a dream to build a little place of my own over the garage.

Raj:  Was that the best 99 cents I've ever spent or what?

Sheldon:  Deep in the Heart of Texas!

Sheldon:  She meets a group of geniuses and their friend Howard.

Penny:  I've already mooched dinner off you guys, I don't have to stand for this.

Sheldon:  The word secretary has fallen into disrepute.

Sheldon: And head of the Secret Santa Committee.

Sheldon:  In that case, can I offer 27 tweeks to make it less embarrassing.

Sheldon:  I suggest Project Nodlehs.

Leonard:  You're fired.  You're impossible to work with.

Sheldon:  Is that open for discussion.

Sheldon:  I'll put on my bus pants.

Howard:  After we play handball, I'm showering at home.

Sheldon: Go Beavers!

Sheldon: I assume Kuthranarnowitz was already taken.

Sheldon  Could've beaten around the bush a little.

Penny:  What are you trying to do, contact your home planet?

Sheldon:  I had to wear my bus pants and their still sticky.

Howard:  We're going to be 100 aires.

Raj:  If I get rich enough, that's the kind of girl I want to take on a submarine ride.

Sheldon:  Howard were going to need some tea.

"Project Shoe"

Sheldon:  Nobody Knows...

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from 'The Justice League Recombination'

They guys are entering a New Year's Eve costume contest, and they get everyone involved. Including Penny's boyfriend, Zack.  Here's the quotes:

Sheldon: Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards.

Zack: That's what I like about science, there is no right answer.

Zack: I don't get it.

Leonard: A dolphin might.

Raj: And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.

Sheldon: Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid, have a Milk Dud.

Leonard: I might get punched, you really want to miss that?

Leonard: Hey Sheldon, you look like a praying mantis.

Zack: I haven't been to a comic book store in literally a million years.

Zack: Where are the Archie's?

Stuart: You guys chip in for a bodyguard?

Leonard: I have new boots this year, guaranteed to add three inches.

Leonard: You cant replace me with Zack.

Howard: Penny did.

Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman, he sucks!

Howard: They are under quarantine.

Howard: They were doing Jello shots out of Petri dishes that used to contain Yellow Fever.

Sheldon: This is how the Flash paces.

Zack: Look up in the sky, it's a bird, its a plane...I forget the rest.

Sheldon: It what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?

Zack: Penny, there is no "i" in Justice League.

Sheldon: Amazons tend to be very beefy gals.

Raj: A teeny tiny Dark Knight.

Sheldon: We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Babies costumes.

Raj: Scooter is the Aquaman of the Muppet's.

Leonrd: We're going to win first prize just for showing up with a girl.

Penny: You make a cute Green Arrow.

Leonard: Green Lantern.

Howard: Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.

Sheldon: I'm not going to say another word until you people settle down.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Alien Parasite Hypothesis"

Raj and Howard are at each other and Amy is attracted to a man that isn't Sheldon.

Here's tonight's quotes:

Sheldon: What is the best number? There is only one correct answer.

Leonard: 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.

Penny: So I spent 7th grade dotting my I's will little asses?

Amy: Does "went out" mean, have intercourse?

Penny: Zack can't even spell "NPR".

Raj: Did he get super powers?

Howard: Who would want to become "Rat Man"?

Raj: You could be my sidekick, Mouseboy.

Sheldon: Hosting an alien parasite.

Amy: Where would I have picked up a parasite?

Raj: It's easy, a spider is crawling up your arm.

Amy: I'm not going through menopause.

Sheldon: You said that with the testy bark of an old bitty.

Sheldon: Did you see Star Trek, The Motion Picture? Don't!

Sheldon: Cheap science fiction!

Amy: That's not your lunch. That's the cadaver brain specimens.

Sheldon: Forget science, she's horny.

Penny: Are you sure?

Sheldon: It's illegal to spay a human being.

Penny: Oh Amy, you lucky girl.

Sheldon: I'm looking for a "Zack Johnson" that used to have coitus with my neighbor Penny.

Sheldon: It's like trying to talk to a dolphin.

Howard: 1-2-3-Go is for babies.

Raj: What kind of superhero says, "dibs on the red tights."

Sheldon: I look like a Hell's Angel.

Sheldon: Follow your endocrine system.

Zack: My gluteus what?

Howard: I could've been a ninja by now if my mother could've arranged a car pool.

Raj: It's only a matter of time before you fall into Rat Man's, rat trap.

'Big Bang Theory' Quotes from The Boyfriend Complexity

This season of The Big Bang Theory is all about relationships and this week was no exception. Penny's dad pays a visit and the guys monitor a telescope.  And of course, things get out of control.

Leonard: Whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing.

Sheldon: Whoever gives Wolverine his prostate exam.

Raj: There are no stupid questions.

Raj: Is that racist, it feels racist.

Sheldon: I don't like novelty editions of Monopoly. I like regular and Klingon.

Howard: That happens with me and my mom all the time.

Shelton: By that standard Penny is Coo Coo for CoCo Puffs.

Penny: You don't have a neck tatoo or outstanding warrants.

Penny: Get over yourself. I whistled, you came running.

Raj: Not if it has a hole in the middle.

Bernadette: So we just stare at the screen waiting for something to happen?

Howard: I did that when you rented "The Notebook"

Howard: Galileo drank Diet Sprite.

Bernadette: I just worked with penicillin resistant gonorrhea today, and I was wondering if I washed my hands.

Wyatt: That petition looked real to me.

Sheldon: Oh frickety-frack, not this again.

Howard:  Can't go any further, there's a sacred cow in my way.

Leonard:  You have to admit, I'm delightful.

Sheldon:  FYI, over use of the phrase "Oh My God" is number 12.

Raj:  if you like roaming around a big empty house with no one to love you.

Wyatt:  We're fishin', right here on his couch.

Wyatt:  I want to have grandkids before I die, and I don't want them growing up in a house with wheels.

Sheldon:  I have completed the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement.

Sheldon:  We are not alone.

Leonard:  Did you get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

Raj:  He never touched my telescope.