The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Recombination Hypothesis"

Leonard wants to take Penny out for a romantic dinner, so what does the gang have to say about that?

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Permission granted commander.

Amy: The more intelligent the monkey, the more feces they fling.

Sheldon: They sent the wrong Spock.

Sheldon: Live long and suck.

Penny: Too much?

Amy: Maybe he's dying, that would be so romantic.

Amy: She could ride him right up until he flatlines.

Amy: If he were dying, would you sleep with him?

Bernadtte: I'm a sexy cardiologist, and I'm not in his HMO.

Sheldon: Either of you fellows have wood?

Sheldon: Who has wood for my sheep?

Raj: Why do you call her brown sugar?

Sheldon: It's in her book, "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby"

Sheldon: Anybody have wood?

Leonard; I used the equipment to make my own Bat Signal.

Leonard; I'm the King of the Nerds.

Penny: I don't even know what T.J. stands for.

Sheldon: Now that I have some wood, I'm going to start the erection of my settlement.

Sheldon: He's being murdered.

Raj: You were in the middle of an erection?

Sheldon: It's right here in my hand.

Leonard: Sometimes I have questions.

Leonard: Except when I got the foot cramp.

Leonard: What if I dump you?

Leonard: Penny and Leonard 2.0

Sheldon: Did you bring you asthma inhaler?

Sheldon: Here's 2 dollars, go buy some beef jerky.

Sheldon: You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Penny: You're like a dog with a bone.

Leonard; Isn't sex after fighting what we do now?

Penny: I've got to stop by the drug store.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Shiny Trinket Manuever"

Penny helps Sheldon when he gets in trouble with Amy.  Will Howard and Bernadette have children?  
Here are the quotes:

Raj: Ordinary, but I bet it's dripping with magical potential.

Raj: There's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it.

Sheldon: Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern than...

Sheldon: Billy Sparks put a Mexican Peso up my nose.  It's still there.

Penny: Pasadena's favorite power couple: Shamey.

Sheldon: Somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.

Sheldon: i can be overly fond of Koala Bears.

Sheldon: Biology is all about yucky squishy things.

Sheldon: She knows my Koala face.

Howard: The only wand that ever saw any action was this one.

Mrs. Wolowitz: She has a tricky figure, she's short and stacked, like me.

Sheldon: Think I'll go in this saloon and drink my troubles away.

Leonard: Digital alcohol is never a solution.

Leonard: I'm no expert in women.

Bernadette: Do you know how to pipe down?

Bernadette: No cake for you!  Anyone else want to join the no cake club?

Howard: I think my crotch is starting to curdle.

Bernadette; Let's see how you like this waffle!

Sheldon: Maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.

Penny: Trust me, we are not a couple.

Raj: I often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.

Howard: Even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr.

Penny: That pocket watch is ridiculous.

Amy: We both know that is you Koala face!

Amy: Oh it's a tiara!

Howard: What is that behind your ear, it's a condom.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Rhinitis Revelation"

Sheldon's mom pays the guys a visit and there is a shocking revelation that will not be in Sheldon's weekly e-mail blast.

Shedon: Your God can work miracles.

Sheldon's Mom: Gunning with God.

Sheldon's Mom: If Shelly was onboard, he's write smut mouth on his pigeon.

Sheldon's Mom: I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston.

Leonard: Kung Fu letters may not be politically correct.

Shedon: There is big news on the Amy front.

Leonard; Her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can't make his mother fry it.

Leonard; You son seems to think we need to launch a pre-emptive strike on Burbank.

Sheldon's Mom: I thought it was our Indians that has the occasional alcohol problem.

Sheldon's Mom: Woman could hunt geese with a rake.

Sheldon: It was in my weekly e-mail blast!

Sheldon: Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.

Penny: Sometimes they only get to spin the tea cups.

Howard: I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year.

Sheldon: I worked up a couple of Q's that will embarrass his sorry A.

Sheldon: Your sushi, your sadness and your slutty shirts.

Sheldon: I apologized and that was hard for me.

Leonard:  I'm going to take my bacon grease and head over there.

Sheldon's Mom: I'm going to thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.

Sheldon: Or to use the clinical term Na-Ah

Sheldon's Mom: This one is sweet for your Rosary Rattlers.

Raj: None of our Gods have abs like that.

Sheldon's Mom: Coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

Howard: I'm trying not to burst into flames.

Sheldon: Smarty Pants!

Sheldon's Mom: I so should've taken you to Houston.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From ''The Wiggly Finger Catalyst"

What's with Raj?  He's now talking to girls?

Here are the quotes:

Howard: Hey Ma, what's for dinner?

Howard: Playing nerd game with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?

Sheldon:  When you play Chutes and Ladders, do you complain about all the chutes?

Howard: Eat another pie, you'll have your own bazongas.

Penny: My bikini region is fine.

Bernadette: Raj came along and ate half the samples.

Sheldon: I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a role of the dice.

Sheldon: A side of corn succotash.

Howard:  i don't want to show any more of your friends I can fit into the booster seats.

Raj: Was she signing it sarcastically?

Raj: Maybe, whatever babe.

Sheldon: C'mon hot fudge sundae.

Raj: Did you hear the one about.... no, you didn't.

Raj: Ask her how many kids she wants.

Raj: Tell her I talk like James Earl Jones.

Raj: When I was six, I tried to start a boy band called Frankie Goes to Bollywood.  The servants had to be the backup dancers.

Howard: The puppy died, he choked on a doll head, stop smiling!

Howard: I'm the make out king.

Raj: I was so smooth on that date.

Sheldon: The dice told me what percentage of my face to shave.

Leonard: You left out, got chaffed testicles since you no longer wear underpants.

Leonard: Deaf women can't be gold diggers?

Sheldon: I realized one of my dreams and was made a notary public.

Sheldon: They are "Richie Rich" rich.

Howard: Bernadette doesn't mind where I get my motor running, as long as I park it in the right garage.

Raj: You can't stand to see me with another woman.

Penny: He is cuter now that i know he is rich.

Raj's Dad:  I'm a gynaecologist, I know what she gives you.

Raj:  Sometimes i put the TV on mute to pretend she's still with me.  I can't wash the closed caption without crying.

Sheldon: Papa needs to void his bladder.

Penny: We all know you are loaded now.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From 'The Infestation Hypothesis'

A fight between Penny and Sheldon has Amy Farrah Fowler caught in the middle and Raj and Wolowitz kiss.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: A Dinfast date.

Sheldon: A fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine.

Sheldon: When I rise to power those people will be sterilized.

Sheldon: If we were an old married couple the wife would be serving iced tea and snickerdoodles.

Sheldon: it's a chair worthy of the name.

Raj: This is one good looking panini.

Howard: Does that include doing the cyber nasty?

Howard; The digital pickle tickle?

Raj: A fancy guy with a turban that grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.

Leonard: Chicken nuggets you were sure they were human nuggets

Penny: My couch, I found half a hot pocket in there.

Leonard: It's like living with a Chihuahua.

Sheldon: So they may remove the chair of death.

Leonard: You're a dirty, disgusting, revolting girl!

Priya: Here I am baby, you miss these?

Sheldon: I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Amy: Besties, BFF's sisters who would share traveling pants.

Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City

Howard: See, internet kissing.

Raj: I was being playful.

Amy: Something in the chair is biting my tushy

Raj: What kind of an idiot throws out a terrific chair like this?