The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Vacation Solution"

Sheldon has to take a vacation, so he goesto work with Amy and will Howard and Bernadette sign a pre-nup?

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Physics - Mad Libs

Howard: I haven't seen him laugh that hard since Leonard made a multiplication error.

Suggestion Box: Can Dr. Copper take a vacation?

Sheldon: I'm sneaking into work.

Sheldon: It's how Velma and Shaggy smuggled Scooby into the old lighthouse.

Bernadette: Hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew.

Amy: You, would fetch a unicorn.

Sheldon: Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.

Sheldon: A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach.

Leonard: Leonard's got to get paid.

Amy: It's going to be romantic.

Sheldon: A little hazing for the new fellow?

Sheldon: It's like asking the Incredible Hulk to open a pickle jar.

Sheldon: I bought a tamagotchi in 1998 and it's still alive.

Raj: Follow your heart.

Howard: I some rare comic books.  The Vespa is almost paid off.

Raj: Mr. Roper is dead!

Sheldon: Biologists are mean.

Sheldon: This place needs a suggestion box.

Sheldon: When I was in kindergarten, I recited Pi to 1,000 places.

Sheldon: It takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.

Sheldon: I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.

Sheldon: Yea, you're a biologist.

Sheldon: Social convention is stupid.

Howard: We're grown men, we drink at bars.

Sheldon: This is a fairly substantial wound.

Sheldon: I had lost a lot of thumb blood.

Sheldon: Next year I'm going to EPCOT.

Bernadette: He still carries his gun.  it's more of a fashion statement.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Speckerman Recurrence"

Leonard must face his fears after being contacted by his high school tormentor, can the guys help?  On The Big Bang Theory, Thursday, Dec. 8 at 8pm Eastern.

Here are the quotes.

Sheldon: I got you to stop saying Valentine's Day.

Sheldon: The head of one of the largest religious organizations in the world dunking to "Sweet Georgia Brown."

Sheldon: Was he the one that made you eat his arm hair?

Sheldon: Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live.

Sheldon: Did you have a bad clam?

Leonard: No you did not have sex with my mother!

Penny: High school quarterback against mathletes.

Bernadette: She stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.

Amy: Gorilla fingers Fowler.

Penny: I was not a bully.

Bernadette: Sounds like you were, maybe a felon.

Wolowitz: You wore underwear?  You fool.

Speckerman:  I hear you're a big time scientist now.

Speckerman: How did you get inside that backpack?

Sheldon: Leonard is just a dime store laser jockey.

Sheldon: Even I know that's a doozy.

Sheldon: Leonard, I platonically love you, but you're a mess.

Sheldon: Leonard wet his bed well into his teens.

Leonard: You called me Nancy for three years.

Penny: I'm sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.

Sheldon: One for good luck, must be the math they do at Princeton.

Speckerman: Stuffing that parrot down your pants.

Sheldon: Make him wander the streets with the other drunks.

Penny: I feel just like Mother Teresa, except for the virgin part.

Sheldon: This world is going to chew you up and spit you out.

Speckerman: You really know your way around the kitchen, Nancy.

Sheldon: The Dark Knight has your back.

Sheldon: I just need to outrun you.

Penny: C'mon yoga top...

Amy: Looking to day we might be cell mates.

Bernadette: It's ok, I serve soup to poor people.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Rhinitis Revelation"

Sheldon's mom pays the guys a visit and there is a shocking revelation that will not be in Sheldon's weekly e-mail blast.

Shedon: Your God can work miracles.

Sheldon's Mom: Gunning with God.

Sheldon's Mom: If Shelly was onboard, he's write smut mouth on his pigeon.

Sheldon's Mom: I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston.

Leonard: Kung Fu letters may not be politically correct.

Shedon: There is big news on the Amy front.

Leonard; Her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can't make his mother fry it.

Leonard; You son seems to think we need to launch a pre-emptive strike on Burbank.

Sheldon's Mom: I thought it was our Indians that has the occasional alcohol problem.

Sheldon's Mom: Woman could hunt geese with a rake.

Sheldon: It was in my weekly e-mail blast!

Sheldon: Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.

Penny: Sometimes they only get to spin the tea cups.

Howard: I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year.

Sheldon: I worked up a couple of Q's that will embarrass his sorry A.

Sheldon: Your sushi, your sadness and your slutty shirts.

Sheldon: I apologized and that was hard for me.

Leonard:  I'm going to take my bacon grease and head over there.

Sheldon's Mom: I'm going to thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.

Sheldon: Or to use the clinical term Na-Ah

Sheldon's Mom: This one is sweet for your Rosary Rattlers.

Raj: None of our Gods have abs like that.

Sheldon's Mom: Coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

Howard: I'm trying not to burst into flames.

Sheldon: Smarty Pants!

Sheldon's Mom: I so should've taken you to Houston.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From 'The Skank Reflex Analysis'

A new season of The Big Bang Theory.  The gang deals with the aftermath of the shocking sexual hookup that ended season four.  What will they do?  Also, Sheldon takes control of the guy's paintball team.
Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: It''s not what it looks like.

Sheldon: I can't, so I shant!

Sheldon: The worms crawl out of the rectum for air.

Sheldon: Penny could've been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.

Raj: I'm Penny's #2 choice after Bernadette

Sheldon:  I've decided my rank should be captain.

Leonard: Oh Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Sheldon: By the way, I do have genitals.

Amy: I've heard who you did.

Penny: Dr. Jeckyl and Mrs. Whore

Amy: She engaged in interspecies hanky panky, but people still call her great.

Amy: The Skank Reflex!

Leonard's Mom: Buck up!

Leonard's Mom: Buck up sissy pants!

Penny: I got a call back for hemorrhoid commercial

Amy: Try to keep it in your pants, ok.

Raj: Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo

Penny: Oh God, did you pull some weird Indian crap on me.

Raj: I'm always packing.

Raj: Can I say I ruined you for white men?

Sheldon: Whenever you are ready AT&T!

Raj: Screw you, that was a beautifully written penis metaphor.

Sheldon: Jamba Juice is for heroes

Sheldon: Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.

Sheldon: if there's ever a church of Sheldon, this is where it started.

Sheldon: With my last breathe, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion.

Penny: What ya doing, Quick Draw?

Sheldon: Have you ever thought of teaching physics?

Commercial: The H is for her.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Zarnecki Incursion"

I should've posted this back when the episode first aired earlier this spring.  But, better late than never as this is the BBT episode airing tonight.

Can't wait a new season is right around the corner.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon:  They stole everything Leonard!

Sheldon:  And all my gold!

Sheldon:  Like a carcass in the desert sun.  Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Sheldon:  Glenn, the only bird I've ever loved.

Leonard:  Not the kind with access to drugs.

Sheldon:  How are you allowed to carry a gun.

Sheldon:  Can you refer me to a rogue ex-cop?

Sheldon:  What kind of world do we live in where another man would steal a battle ostrich.

Sheldon:  See if Raj is done with Pilates.

Raj:  He appears to be a member of the Nigerian Royal Family.

Sheldon:  Doodle Jump is a game, Angry Birds is a game.

Raj:  Bad news, the Nigerian Prince may be a fraud.

Penny:  Leonard was so phobic about stepping on medical waste I had to carry him to the ocean.

Amy:  I'm drunk

Penny:  Oh boy, my breast friends.

Penny:  No, but I can name all the Kardashians.

Bernadette:  I don't have a need to fling my waste.

Howard:  Our troll just walked in!

Raj:  He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.

Priya:  It's nice to date a boy trapped in a man's body.

Bernadette:  Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp.

Sheldon:  I never said these words before but good work Howard.

Sheldon:  The name and address drip with evil.

Sheldon:  It's in a cul-du-sac, we can box him in.

Sheldon:  Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva convention.

Sheldon:  Tonight we take back our dignity.

Raj:  i have a hip hop aerobics class at 5.  Can we go after?

Raj:  C'mon on man  Bros before....my sister.

Howard:  She's kind of a "Wheel" savant.

Raj:  Sitar music for a ring tone is not cool.

Howard: It's her super-power, that and jiggling her arm fat.

Sheldon:  Shamu is literally tons of fun.

Raj:  Legoland is more interactive.

Sheldon:  This say Beyonce bootylischious dance mix.

Raj:  She's curvy and she owns it, I like that.

Leonard:  Next time we go to kick someone's ass, we take the train.

Sheldon:  No weapon strikes more fear than a Klingon Bat leth.

Sheldon:  I'm Sheldor of Azaroth.

Raj:  Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Sheldon:  Todd Zarnecki was mean.

Penny:  I'm going to show you how we finish a quest in Nebraska.

Penny:  Today's the day a girl is finally going to touch you in your special place.