The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Toast Derivation"

Sheldon finds some new friends and Amy and Bernadette try to cheer Penny up.

Sheldon:  Un Momento, now you're being deliberately stupid.

Sheldon: He sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan.

Sheldon:  Five people eating and talking is a party.

Sheldon:  I'll go to your haggis party.

Sheldon:  Was it about me, or the dead pixels?

Wolowitz:  Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva out of your sister's mouth?

Sheldon:  Dinner, some assembly required!

Sheldon: Windbreaker for my cape.

Penny:  I was getting your stupid umbrella, but ok.

Sheldon: It was like the last days of Caligula.

Amy Farrah Fowler:  From this angle I can see up your nose.

Sheldon:  I'm the whimsical elf everyone looks to for a good time.

Amy Farrah Fowler:  Leonardstan.

Penny:  If you were a band you would be called Leonard and the Leonards.

Leonard: Levar Burton is coming here?

Sheldon:  Possibly, I tweeted him.

Sheldon:  Well, it would appear Levar Burton won't be joining us.

Barry:  When is the waffle?

Amy Farrah Fowler: Yo, P-Dog!

Zack:  There's nobody around so naturally I'm freeballin' it.

Barry: Go ahead Zack, drunk girl, freballin'...

Zack: So long story short I nailed here.

Zack: I shouted Holy Moly!

Priya: Sheldon's a bit quirky.

Wolowitz:  Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates.

Bernadette:  I would take that deal all day long.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Do you have an electric toothbrush?

Penny:  Let's go find me a hiney to bite.

Stewart:  Did they do Walking on Sunshine yet?

Leonard:  He tried to declare our apartment a sovereign nation.  I still have some of the currency.

Sheldon:  Your girlfriend is a little short tempered.

Sheldon:  This is good, whatever it is.

Guys:  I'm Walking on Sunshine...

'Big Bang Theory' Quotes from The Boyfriend Complexity

This season of The Big Bang Theory is all about relationships and this week was no exception. Penny's dad pays a visit and the guys monitor a telescope.  And of course, things get out of control.

Leonard: Whoever uses the bathroom after The Thing.

Sheldon: Whoever gives Wolverine his prostate exam.

Raj: There are no stupid questions.

Raj: Is that racist, it feels racist.

Sheldon: I don't like novelty editions of Monopoly. I like regular and Klingon.

Howard: That happens with me and my mom all the time.

Shelton: By that standard Penny is Coo Coo for CoCo Puffs.

Penny: You don't have a neck tatoo or outstanding warrants.

Penny: Get over yourself. I whistled, you came running.

Raj: Not if it has a hole in the middle.

Bernadette: So we just stare at the screen waiting for something to happen?

Howard: I did that when you rented "The Notebook"

Howard: Galileo drank Diet Sprite.

Bernadette: I just worked with penicillin resistant gonorrhea today, and I was wondering if I washed my hands.

Wyatt: That petition looked real to me.

Sheldon: Oh frickety-frack, not this again.

Howard:  Can't go any further, there's a sacred cow in my way.

Leonard:  You have to admit, I'm delightful.

Sheldon:  FYI, over use of the phrase "Oh My God" is number 12.

Raj:  if you like roaming around a big empty house with no one to love you.

Wyatt:  We're fishin', right here on his couch.

Wyatt:  I want to have grandkids before I die, and I don't want them growing up in a house with wheels.

Sheldon:  I have completed the Penny-specific section of the new roommate agreement.

Sheldon:  We are not alone.

Leonard:  Did you get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

Raj:  He never touched my telescope.

Tonight's 'Big Bang Theory' Quotes from "The Apology Insufficiency"

Eliza Dushku guest stars tonight as Howard and Sheldon are at odds, and the guys get interviewed by the FBI.

Leonard: I'm going to assume the mantle of self assurance.

Sheldon: A rodent the size of a baby hippo.

Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Special Agent Page: How long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?

Raj: Don't send me back to India. It's like the whole country is one big Comic-Con.

Leonard: Confidence not exuding.

Special Agent Page: Can my 6'2" Navy Seal husband come with us?

Sheldon: And here's my Justice League membership card.

Sheldon: 18 years ago I sent the FBI crime lab a bag of excrement that was burned on my front lawn.

Sheldon: You heard me say Blu-ray, right?

Sheldon: Sheldor to Smeldor.

Sheldon: I was afraid you were going to fixate on that Mars rover incident.

Sheldon: Sleep eludes me, Leonard.

Leonard: Maybe sleep has met you.

Sheldon: No Gorn no, that's where I sit.

Sheldon: When I first met Leonard he was on the verge of giving rocket secrets to a North Korean spy.

Sheldon: Chinese, six fingers, red hair, good bye.

Sheldon: I will offer you a one time only high-five.

Sheldon: I don't like the Olive Garden, they treat me like family.

Sheldon: Blame James "Jimmy" Carter.

Sheldon: I'll have a Rosewater Rickey.

Sheldon: To the Metric System!

Sheldon: Penny, you face failure on a daily basis, how do you cope?

Penny: You can't go back and unhump a girl's boyfriend.

Penny: Kirk cheated.

Sheldon: I'll reprogram Howard. To James Tiberius Kirk!

Raj: I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.

Penny: How long?

Leonard: 94 seconds.