Tonight's 'Big Bang Theory' Quotes from "The Apology Insufficiency"

Eliza Dushku guest stars tonight as Howard and Sheldon are at odds, and the guys get interviewed by the FBI.

Leonard: I'm going to assume the mantle of self assurance.

Sheldon: A rodent the size of a baby hippo.

Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Special Agent Page: How long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?

Raj: Don't send me back to India. It's like the whole country is one big Comic-Con.

Leonard: Confidence not exuding.

Special Agent Page: Can my 6'2" Navy Seal husband come with us?

Sheldon: And here's my Justice League membership card.

Sheldon: 18 years ago I sent the FBI crime lab a bag of excrement that was burned on my front lawn.

Sheldon: You heard me say Blu-ray, right?

Sheldon: Sheldor to Smeldor.

Sheldon: I was afraid you were going to fixate on that Mars rover incident.

Sheldon: Sleep eludes me, Leonard.

Leonard: Maybe sleep has met you.

Sheldon: No Gorn no, that's where I sit.

Sheldon: When I first met Leonard he was on the verge of giving rocket secrets to a North Korean spy.

Sheldon: Chinese, six fingers, red hair, good bye.

Sheldon: I will offer you a one time only high-five.

Sheldon: I don't like the Olive Garden, they treat me like family.

Sheldon: Blame James "Jimmy" Carter.

Sheldon: I'll have a Rosewater Rickey.

Sheldon: To the Metric System!

Sheldon: Penny, you face failure on a daily basis, how do you cope?

Penny: You can't go back and unhump a girl's boyfriend.

Penny: Kirk cheated.

Sheldon: I'll reprogram Howard. To James Tiberius Kirk!

Raj: I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.

Penny: How long?

Leonard: 94 seconds.