The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Recombination Hypothesis"

Leonard wants to take Penny out for a romantic dinner, so what does the gang have to say about that?

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Permission granted commander.

Amy: The more intelligent the monkey, the more feces they fling.

Sheldon: They sent the wrong Spock.

Sheldon: Live long and suck.

Penny: Too much?

Amy: Maybe he's dying, that would be so romantic.

Amy: She could ride him right up until he flatlines.

Amy: If he were dying, would you sleep with him?

Bernadtte: I'm a sexy cardiologist, and I'm not in his HMO.

Sheldon: Either of you fellows have wood?

Sheldon: Who has wood for my sheep?

Raj: Why do you call her brown sugar?

Sheldon: It's in her book, "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby"

Sheldon: Anybody have wood?

Leonard; I used the equipment to make my own Bat Signal.

Leonard; I'm the King of the Nerds.

Penny: I don't even know what T.J. stands for.

Sheldon: Now that I have some wood, I'm going to start the erection of my settlement.

Sheldon: He's being murdered.

Raj: You were in the middle of an erection?

Sheldon: It's right here in my hand.

Leonard: Sometimes I have questions.

Leonard: Except when I got the foot cramp.

Leonard: What if I dump you?

Leonard: Penny and Leonard 2.0

Sheldon: Did you bring you asthma inhaler?

Sheldon: Here's 2 dollars, go buy some beef jerky.

Sheldon: You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Penny: You're like a dog with a bone.

Leonard; Isn't sex after fighting what we do now?

Penny: I've got to stop by the drug store.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Shiny Trinket Manuever"

Penny helps Sheldon when he gets in trouble with Amy.  Will Howard and Bernadette have children?  
Here are the quotes:

Raj: Ordinary, but I bet it's dripping with magical potential.

Raj: There's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it.

Sheldon: Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern than...

Sheldon: Billy Sparks put a Mexican Peso up my nose.  It's still there.

Penny: Pasadena's favorite power couple: Shamey.

Sheldon: Somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.

Sheldon: i can be overly fond of Koala Bears.

Sheldon: Biology is all about yucky squishy things.

Sheldon: She knows my Koala face.

Howard: The only wand that ever saw any action was this one.

Mrs. Wolowitz: She has a tricky figure, she's short and stacked, like me.

Sheldon: Think I'll go in this saloon and drink my troubles away.

Leonard: Digital alcohol is never a solution.

Leonard: I'm no expert in women.

Bernadette: Do you know how to pipe down?

Bernadette: No cake for you!  Anyone else want to join the no cake club?

Howard: I think my crotch is starting to curdle.

Bernadette; Let's see how you like this waffle!

Sheldon: Maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.

Penny: Trust me, we are not a couple.

Raj: I often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.

Howard: Even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr.

Penny: That pocket watch is ridiculous.

Amy: We both know that is you Koala face!

Amy: Oh it's a tiara!

Howard: What is that behind your ear, it's a condom.

Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Pulled Groin Extrapolation"

Leonard goes to a wedding as Amy's date and Howard and Bernadette spend the weekend with Mrs. Wolowitz.

Here are the quotes:

Shelton:  I've seen pictures of your mother, keep eating.

Howard: When I say honey, I mean my fiance'

Penny: I'm not driving him.

Amy: Leonard please, I don't need the running commentary.

Amy:  Now I'm thinking about what I read.

Sheldon:  I'm going in with an open mind.  It's "O" gauge or no gauge.

Howard: She actually has hair on her chinny chin chin.

Amy: How was your shower?

Amy: I'm like a possum.

Leonard: Rough night Casey Jones?

Sheldon: You said there would be other scientists there my age.

Mrs. Wolowitz: In or out, we don't need bugs!

Mrs. Wolowitz: After all your sleep overs with the little brown boy...

Sheldon: The smaller the train, the more concentrated the fun.

Amy: When you are done copping a feel, that goes on my wrist.

Sheldon: I'm an HO trainiac!

Mrs Wolowitz: Hubba, Hubba

Amy: I'm being a delight here.

Leonard: I'm fun.

Mrs. Wolowitz:  The eagle has landed.

Howard: And we have splashdown.

Amy: Hokey Pokey is the young man's game.

Amy: I accidently made Leonard fall in love with me.

Amy: The perfect combination of Madonna and whore.

Amy: Leonard just doesn't get my motor running.

Amy: This body is never going to be his wonderland.

Leonard: My groin is a little worse for wear.

Howard: Good morning Mom.

Bernadette: He wants butter!

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Speckerman Recurrence"

Leonard must face his fears after being contacted by his high school tormentor, can the guys help?  On The Big Bang Theory, Thursday, Dec. 8 at 8pm Eastern.

Here are the quotes.

Sheldon: I got you to stop saying Valentine's Day.

Sheldon: The head of one of the largest religious organizations in the world dunking to "Sweet Georgia Brown."

Sheldon: Was he the one that made you eat his arm hair?

Sheldon: Nobel Prize acceptance ceremony streaming live.

Sheldon: Did you have a bad clam?

Leonard: No you did not have sex with my mother!

Penny: High school quarterback against mathletes.

Bernadette: She stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.

Amy: Gorilla fingers Fowler.

Penny: I was not a bully.

Bernadette: Sounds like you were, maybe a felon.

Wolowitz: You wore underwear?  You fool.

Speckerman:  I hear you're a big time scientist now.

Speckerman: How did you get inside that backpack?

Sheldon: Leonard is just a dime store laser jockey.

Sheldon: Even I know that's a doozy.

Sheldon: Leonard, I platonically love you, but you're a mess.

Sheldon: Leonard wet his bed well into his teens.

Leonard: You called me Nancy for three years.

Penny: I'm sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.

Sheldon: One for good luck, must be the math they do at Princeton.

Speckerman: Stuffing that parrot down your pants.

Sheldon: Make him wander the streets with the other drunks.

Penny: I feel just like Mother Teresa, except for the virgin part.

Sheldon: This world is going to chew you up and spit you out.

Speckerman: You really know your way around the kitchen, Nancy.

Sheldon: The Dark Knight has your back.

Sheldon: I just need to outrun you.

Penny: C'mon yoga top...

Amy: Looking to day we might be cell mates.

Bernadette: It's ok, I serve soup to poor people.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition"

Sheldon considers taking his relationship with Amy to the next level when Stuart from the comic book store asks her out on a date, on THE BIG BANG THEORY.

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon: What do you think of new comic book night?

Amy: This...lame-o

Sheldon: You play the harp, like that's cool!

Howard: It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid.

Howard: This is Billy the Kid we're talking about!

Raj: Who would win, Billy the Kid or the White Wizard?

Stuart: Like shooting nerds in a barrel.

Sheldon: Abandon your research and start teaching?

Sheldon: I don't own Amy!

Sheldon: What to do with a washed up experimental physicist.

Amy: Or we play , Travel twister.

Bernadette: Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom!

Penny: She has a Sheldon.

Dale: He left me in charge.  I don't get it either.

Dale: I don't do returns, they are hard.

Sheldon: My bowel movements run like a German train schedule.

Sheldon: I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes.

Sheldon: When I dressed up as a Bealzabobcat.

Leonard; Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.

Sheldon: I'm in the Matrix, I see everything.

Sheldon: I came to ask, if you would like to go on a date with me.

Penny: Strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.

Amy: Try it without the quadruple negative.

Sheldon: Amy, will you be my girlfriend.

Sheldon: Here's a dollar, get some Sour Patch Kids.

Sheldon: Is that the kind of nagging I can expect now that you are my girlfriend.

Sheldon: The relationship agreement.

Sheldon:  Start perusing while I set up my notary stamp.

Bernadette: No one beats me at limbo.