Modern Family Quotes from 'Caught in the Act'

Jay and Gloria are heading to Vegas for the weekend.  Phil and Claire are caught in the act.

Jay:  I'm pretty sure they are going to pat you down.

Gloria:  Make it come back!

Mitchell:  I'm going to need you to sparkle sweety!

Phil: Nothing is happening!

Claire:  We were having sex in front of our children.

Claire: Our children are downstairs, traumatized.

Gloria: Like the Peter Pan.

Jay:  Nobody wears tights or anything.

Gloria:  If they aren't wearing anything, I don't want them flying over my food.

Cam:  Oh, that Amelia!

Cam:  Let us play fast and loose with the menu

Phil:  We are not your parents, we're in much better shape.

Phil:  Knock, Knock  Who's there?  Someone who doesn't want to see their parents doing it.  So knock.

Luke:  He was right behind her.

Cam :  It was in Diane Keaton's house.

Mitchell:  $50,000 for a rug!

Cam:  Now I'm thinking it was Joan Collins' house.

Gloria:  It happened to me with another woman.  And I was the one getting it.

Gloria:  Taste my cupcakes.

Phil:  I'm going to pass out.

Phil:  Your wife was just the one that offered up her cupcakes.

Luke:  So it's a good thing Mom and Dad do sex.

Jay:  You Mom and I were watching a particularly racy episode of Hart to Hart.

Jay:  I have a thing for high-heeled boots.

Jay:  It's a naked picture of Gloria.

Phil: Whoa!

Cam:  We can't afford Joan Collins' rug.

Phil:  It's like your shaking hands, but your not shaking hands at all.

Phil:  Your Mom can't keep her hands of fme when the gun show comes to town.

Phil: Well use it all the time.

Luke:  Its hard for me to look at Dad afterwards.