Modern Family Quotes of the Night: Mother Tucker

The gang is dealing with a lot. Jay isn't feeling well, Haley breaks up with Dylan, and Manny gives medical advice.

Haley: Are you familiar with the term Dunphy party of one?

Cam: Missouri has a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene.

Mitchell: Cam loves his Mom.

Jay: Gloria thinks Americans are babies.

Manny: I'm not loving your color.

Claire: How long have I been paying this guy to make out with you?

Phil: Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Kincannon did me.

Mitchell: Cam's Mother spent half of the dinner with her hands all over me.

Phil: Now that you are broken up you can call me whatever you like. Phil, P-Daddy.

Mitchell: Put your fingers all over my fanny. Your magic fingers.

Mitchell: Cam, put the doll down!

Dylan: I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat.

Jay: Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital.

Dylan: I got your texts, you swore a lot.

Phil: You're the other girl?

Gloria: Do you want me to burp you? Come here, come here.

Manny: It's true, it's usually the anesthesia that gets you.

Phil: His car is 30-years old and doesn't have a muffler.

Phil:  So Dylan, you get a chance to listen to that song i sent you?  Got seven minutes.