Modern Family Quotes From "Hit and Run"

Claire might run for public office and Jay is frustrated at work.  Oh, also Mitchell and Cam are fighting.

Here are the quotes:

Phil: Who's Duane Bailey and how do we hate him?

Claire: Puggle breeder?

Cam: This guy broght his kids, Mitchell?

Cam: I'm terrified to see it, that's whey we are here during the day.

Mitchell:  It's The Muppet Movie, we were in the wrong theater.

Gloria: Yea, and soda was a nickel.

Gloria: Do you want me to learn you English?

Manny: You're going to school not boarding a flight to Denver.

Gloria: I have all the answers.

Jay: I wanted to hang myself.

Haley: I need to borrow some money, $900.

Phil: Maybe change out of sweaty gym clothes once in  while.

Phil: It must be so hard being a single mom.

Phil: I want to be the one to push you off the cliff.

Phil: I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Condollezza Rice, Oprah, and Serena Williams.

Mitchell: We just got rear-ended!

Cam: I sustained a minor mouth injury.

Luke: It's in a block of ice.  I heard about rich guys with frozen assets.

Duane: Don't wuit you lack of a day job.

Claire: I'm no bored housewife.

Luke: Where's mom?

Phil: She belongs to the people now.

Jay: He wants more Wow!

Manny: It's the Bieberization of America.

Jay: What do beavers have to do with it.

Mitchell: This one thinks he Dirty Harry.

Cam: He wasn't armed, he had a Hillary bumper sticker.

Claire: What happened to your face?

Luke: Dad hit me.

Phil: No cops, we can't afford a scandal right now.  Claire is running for town council.

Manny: I know how the mafia would handle this.

Gloria: I'm going to give you the right answer, because I have all of them.

Gloria: I was talking about my cousin Mary Conchita.

Gloria: What killed her two weeks later was a bus.

Phil: Either he gives us the money or he gets a private performance from England Dan and John Ford Coley.

Phil:  I would've treated him to a reunion of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

Mitchell: I got grass stains.

Gloria: Claire has decided to run for Mayor of the town.

Phil and Luke:  Ha ha assets.

Jay: Same exact closet.

Cam: We didn't need fake I.D.s on the farm.

Phil: I used mine to rent some bowling shoes and never returned them.  Bet they spent a long time looking for Dr. Richard Hertz.  Get it...