Modern Family Quotes from "Strangers on a Treadmill"

I know it's a repeat episode, but it's a good one, highlighted by Cam's choice of shorts.

Enjoy the quotes.

Phil: Tonight is the SCARB

Phil: They asked me to "Phil" in.

Gloria: There wasn't a dry eye in the cartel.

Mitchell: Maybe there is a person in this world that looks good in bike shorts, but my boyfrirnd isn't him.

Micthell: You've never heard of Troga?

Mitchell: Troga is treadmill yoga.

Haley: I invented Mckenzie.

Haley: Do you want to be smart, or do you want to be popular?

Haley: If it was easy, everyone would be popular.

Cam: I'm leaning towards the park.

Claire: I can see that.

Cam: Yes, I would love to dress you.

Phil: I'm not saying realtor Scott Woosnam is old, but the first property he sold was a cave.

Jay: I'll pay 2 bucks per introduction.

Claire: You owe me a murder.

Cam: I hate your beard.

Cam: I'm not amazing, really?

Phil: Oh my God, I have no material at all.

Phil: But Phil Dunphy is no straight guy.

Phil: Mark recently moved into a new model. How are you Francine?

Jay: These people are Mi Familia.

Jay: Slow down there muchacho.

Phil: It's not what she sounds like.

The Amazing Race's Next Stop: Hong Kong

The next stop for this season's Amazing Race is none other than Hong Kong. 

In “I Hate Chinese Food”, the Racers become violently ill during a challenge, and the stress of the Race finally catches up to one team as a Racer threatens to quit, on THE AMAZING RACE, Sunday, Nov. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on CBS.  Any team could win the race at this point.

Modern Family Quotes of the Night: Mother Tucker

The gang is dealing with a lot. Jay isn't feeling well, Haley breaks up with Dylan, and Manny gives medical advice.

Haley: Are you familiar with the term Dunphy party of one?

Cam: Missouri has a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene.

Mitchell: Cam loves his Mom.

Jay: Gloria thinks Americans are babies.

Manny: I'm not loving your color.

Claire: How long have I been paying this guy to make out with you?

Phil: Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Kincannon did me.

Mitchell: Cam's Mother spent half of the dinner with her hands all over me.

Phil: Now that you are broken up you can call me whatever you like. Phil, P-Daddy.

Mitchell: Put your fingers all over my fanny. Your magic fingers.

Mitchell: Cam, put the doll down!

Dylan: I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat.

Jay: Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital.

Dylan: I got your texts, you swore a lot.

Phil: You're the other girl?

Gloria: Do you want me to burp you? Come here, come here.

Manny: It's true, it's usually the anesthesia that gets you.

Phil: His car is 30-years old and doesn't have a muffler.

Phil:  So Dylan, you get a chance to listen to that song i sent you?  Got seven minutes.

Dancing With the Stars Finale: With 100% of the Precincts Reporting...Jennifer Wins!

We are down to three and coming into tonight it's anyone's guess to who will take home the mirror-ball trophy on Dancing With the Stars. We were treated to six solid performances last night, but Jennifer Grey really stood out with some great routines with Derek. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, if Derek can get his partner to the finals, he's not going to lose. He's the best professional dancer, the best choreographer, and best teacher of the pros, and if he gets an above average partner that will put in the hours of practice, he has a great chance to win.

Bristol and Kyle were also solid last night, but a rung below Jennifer. Many fans will be watching the voting tonight as the results come out.

There has been some bad blood between fans of the show and producers of the show as Bristol Palin has advanced to the finals. Will Bristol continue to get a huge number of votes, ABC even said the voting last night was so heavy it shut down the computers for a while. Not sure how that will impact the show and the results, but we will find out tonight.

But tonight his should be a celebration of a successful season. All the stars and pro dancers are back to get out on the dance floor one more time. Michael Bolton and Audrina Patridge were sadly not on the show tonight, Bolton was performing in London, and Patridge was ill.

They did a better job tonight show how the vote breakdowns occur. Even though Jennifer outscored the other two the way they tabulate the votes show she isnt that far ahead. The fans votes still need to be added in along with two more dances.

Jennifer informed the crowd and television audience she ruptured a disc last night while performing, she went to a doctor this morning and seems well enough to dance tonight.

Christina Aquilera performed on the show tonight and did a credible job. Following her song, it's Kyle and Lacey's turn to take to the floor. They will perform their tango. Kyle has continued to work hard as the show moved along. Kyle and Lacey delivered a great tango, and the judges too were pleased.

Bristol and Mark were up next. They also are going with the tango. This was one of Bristol's best dances early on. She again put forth superb effort. The judges liked her effort and command of the dance.

One more ballroom dance, Jennifer and Derek. They go with the waltz. The same waltz they did for their first dance. It was precise and elegant, a great dance.

Up next, the scores. The judges will award a 10, 9, or 8. Kyle gets 26 for this dance. Bristol earns a 25. And that leaves Jennifer getting a 30.

Now a recap of the whole season looking at the stars as they were eliminated. The Hof reverted back to his Baywatch days. Next to dance were Rick Fox and Kurt Warner, to athletes who competed well on the show. Next up Margaret Cho and Florence Henderson. Next we have a Situation. I'm not sure what kind of situation it is, but I don't want to be involved in it. Next, one last dance for Brandy and Maks. She did a nice quickstep.

On deck is the cha-cha challenge. The couples will be dancing to the same song, and have to dance a cha-cha. This will be the deciding dance. Kyle and Lacey start it off, they have only been practicing the dance for about 30 minutes. Kyle kept in good rhythm with the music. Jennifer and Derek take over, great moves and a very difficult routine they made look easy. Here's Bristol, with Mark making her do some tough moves. All three connect with the audience and make it through. Here are the cha-cha scores. 28 for Kyle. 28 for Jennifer and a 27 for Bristol.

It's time to eliminate the first dancer. When the scores and votes were combined, Bristol and Mark end up in third place.

That leaves two.  It's going to be Jennifer or Kyle.  Jennifer has been almost perfect the last couple weeks, Kyle has come on like a storm across the ocean. The new champions of DWTS are Jennifer and Derek.  Derek leads his partner to another title.

'Dancing With the Stars' : Bristol Silences the Critics and Has No Regrets

It's been a tough week to be Bristol Palin. Last Tuesday, when Bristol earned the final spot in this week's finals, it seemed there was a universal outcry as Brandy was eliminated.

While the Palin voters and fans have remained mostly out of the fray, there was a lot of pressures on Bristol as she prepared to dance this week. Not only with learning new dances, she also had to deal with the fall out of a mysterious white powder being sent to the ABC studios in Los Angeles that insiders said was supposed to be delivered to Palin. The white substance ended up being baby powder and police were conducting an investigation.

That brings us to tonight's dances. Bristol and Mark Ballas knocked their first routine out of the ballpark. Some extra coaching from Bruno paid off as the couple earned three 9's from the judges. Overall, a very strong performance.

Wow, the scores are great tonight. Up next for Bristol is her freestyle. They will be dancing to a song from the Broadway show, Chicago. Bristol says she has motivation to prove the doubters wrong. I almost thought I was watching a scene from Chicago. The dance was cute and fun. From week one, each and every week, Bristol kept enjoying herself more and more.

Give her a 10 for dancing in a cage. The judges gave her a 25 out of 30 for this effort. Bristol seemed pleased, Mark seem pleased and Palin fans and Tea Partiers are getting their dialing fingers ready.