Modern Family Quotes of the Night from "Bixby's Back"

Claire and Phil role play.  Jay tries too hard and Mitchell and Cam think they both have a secret admirer.

Phil:  Panties?

Phil: She lost her under panties.

Mitchell:  He does not have a crush on me.

Phil:  This is how you do "V" Day!

Claire:  Most of these people were here on V-E Day.

Claire/Juliana:  May I speak to Clive?

Phil/Clive:  Baby Doll, I've been lying to my wife for 16 years.

Phil: Nobody walks anymore!

Jay: What kind of guy messes up two Valentines Days in a row?  Not this idiot.

Jay:  Bam! She looks like a big idiot.

Haley: David never sent me a jar of his own tears.

Manny:  Who is Haley Dunphy?

Cam:  Gasp! I'm shocked.

Cam: Me, Mitchell, wedge.

Broderick: Did I validate you?

Cam: Oh, yes.

Clive/Phil:  You look hot enough to cook a pizza on...in.

Clive/Phil:  I'm good at catching things from women in bars.

Jay:  Five-course meal at home and she's strapping on the feed bag at Ibiza.

Juliana/Claire:  I can still hear your pants.

Clive/Phil:  Maybe I should just shut them up.

Phil:  There's been a tiny mistake.

Cam:  Your assistant is hot for me.

Mitchell  Well pick out china and move to Vermont.

Gloria:  I'm the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like the first?

Gloria:  I trick you.  I win!

Gloria:  Shut up!  I win.

Claire:  Let's not push it, you almost got arrested tonight.

Haley:  I haven't been single since I was nine.

Cam/Mitchell:  Ryan!