Modern Family Quotes From 'Dude Ranch: When Good Kids Go Bad'

The season premiere of Modern Family finds the gang heading to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for some vacation time together.

What could possibly go wrong?

Here are the quotes:

Phil: I reckon we'll be landing soon

Gloria: I'm like that horse whisperer

Claire:  Where's a cliff when you need one?

Manny: Do we book spa treatments through you?

Jay: Shootin', ropin' pancake eatin'.

Cam: Trey macho!

Mitchell: I want to be able to teach my son all the things my father taught Claire.

Luke: I need to find the perfect thing to blow up.

Gloria: Is this like a lobster, do I get to pick one for dinner?

Michell: I was afraid that cow over there might bite me.

Dylan: You want me to go home?

Cam: Next time I'll catch it and hand it to you.

Claire: Not now, not then, not ever!

Mitchell: You know what happens in real life when someone gets hit in the head with a ladder?

Manny: He left his luggage.

Alex: Not a Mario Brother....

Guide: Me and Cactus Flower will ride up to Destiny Ridge.

Luke: Can you keep a secret?

Mitchell:  I kept a pretty big one for 22-years.

Luke: After this we're going to have some Angry Birds!

Mitchell: Cam, I did a boy thing!  I blew up a birdhouse.

Dylan: You're a high school student and I'm a ranch hand.

Phil:  I'll only be checking "somewhat satisfied" on our comment card.  He's good with the kids.

Phil: Just like the horny cowboy said we would.

Part II

Phil:  Honey, did you pull from the bottom again?

Cam: We decided to go a little more low-key this time.

Cam: Bye see you soon, or never!

Lily: We bought matching hats.

Gloria: I didn't mean anything about the neck tie, just trying to make a point.

Gloria: What's with the looks, it's like a silent movie in here.

Gloria: Now he's the jewelry thief.

Gloria: What was he thinking, it's not even real gold.

Mitchell: My French braiding is sloppy.

Manny: I am a first time offender.

Gloria: This is you Ha-Ha moment.

Mitchell: We really need to get Cam's coddling problem under control.

Gloria: Drive before he rethinks the pants.

Cam: She looks like she wa dipped in glue and dragged through a flea market.

Luke: Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

Gloria: You'd be surprised what people can live with, Jay.

Claire: I was right, suck it!

Mitchell: Cam wears her like a fanny pack.

Mitchell: How long was I in that dryer.  Maybe that's why I'm afraid of tumbling.

Jay: We clink when we say we clink!

Luke: Something sleeps over there.