This week on Modern Family:
Claire runs herself silly while Phil hits the day spa. We find out Jay wants to be put in a crypt when he dies and Cameron wants to write a children's book for Lily.
Here are this week's quotes:
Phil: If you don't use them then all of our money just goes to charity.
Haley: That was the first time the top half got any exercise.
Mitchell: Guess what the new spinach is?
Claire: Tell me again why the violin just wasn't you?
Alex: It's too happy.
Alex: Relax, half the 11th grade has been inside this sweater.
Manny: I'm seeing a younger woman.
Gloria: With all that bacon he eats.
Mitchell: And we're monkeys because....
Cam: I can draw monkeys.
Mitchell: I fill out the forms ever since you signed up for a 12-year gym membership.
Phil: You mess with Phil Dunphy, the claws come out.
Gloria: Tada is when you do a flip, or cut a woman in half.
Gloria: Here you are just a mushy bag of bones rotting away for all of eternity.
Gloria: We don't want our bodies in these drawers where God cannot find us!
Phil: Did you know Karen and Richard Carpenter grew up in Downey?
Claire: There is no simpler way, just make dinner!
Jay: I don't know what our lineup is yet, but at home I sleep on the right.
Gloria: Good luck at getting someone into your drawers.
Cam: I don't know stop asking me questions. Can't do it, can't.
Phil: Forgive me for being a man!
Phil: Maybe it's all the cremes, but that just made sense girlfriends.
Manny: I just made a joke about The Wiggles, it went right over her head.
Jay: What if I'm the putz?
Jay: I have a few moves.
Claire: I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it.
Jay: Who's my gal?
Gloria: We need to talk about this tada...
Mitchell: There was something missing...
Cam: A hyphen?
Mitchell: Coco and Miko, I like that.
Mitchell: Technically it's my house but I'll fix that too.
Cam: Gay parents are a huge market.
Mitchell: Trans-gender adoption.
Cam: Let's go Miko.