Modern Family Quotes from 'Mother's Day'

A Mother's Day in the great outdoors and Jay and Phil take over the cooking duties.

Here are tonight's quotes:

Haley: It's perverted.  it looks like you were felt up by the creepy guy around the corner.

Gloria:  A necklace made of the Fruit Loops.

Manny:   Those aren't real Fruit Loops they are generic.

Mitchell:  Today is your day.

Cam:  It's Mother's Day Mitchell.

Cam:  I'm a woman!

Mitchell:  Scratch the balloons, she's on a mood.

Jay:  Were not doing that.

Haley:  I'm getting dust in my mouth.

Gloria:  You have to appreciate nature, soon this will be a mall.

Mitchell:  It's Mother's Day, not martyr's day.

Cam:  I could snap you like a twig.

Manny:  That was poison oak, I think the rash is spreading.

Gloria:  You can't bitch all day, because you aren't at the beach all day.

Alex:  If we are thoughtless, how can we think?

Phil:  Onion goggles, no more tears when I cook.

Claire:  Sometimes I want to punch my kids.

Gloria:  He's persnickety.

Gloria:  Go outside, kick a ball, steal something.

Luke:  Wake up and smell the internet, Grandma!

Phil:  I shamed the proud lion.  Only thing to do, hug the proud lion.

Cam:  They think of me as a woman.

Mitchell:  Your slightly "mommer"

Mitchell:  Oh God, he looks old!   Hands!

Gloria:  I curse my tongue!

Manny:  There was some horrible stuff said about my poetry.

Claire: That's healthy.

Mitchell:  Put down the scotch, you're not fooling anyone.

Cam: It's so burning!

Haley: We're your mother now!

Gloria: You cried for your Mommy!

Mitchell:  She taught me to twirl.

Gloria: On my God, it's happening again.

Cam: Don't even try, I have that pottery class in the morning.