Tonight's 'Big Bang Theory' Quotes from "The Apology Insufficiency"

Eliza Dushku guest stars tonight as Howard and Sheldon are at odds, and the guys get interviewed by the FBI.

Leonard: I'm going to assume the mantle of self assurance.

Sheldon: A rodent the size of a baby hippo.

Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Special Agent Page: How long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?

Raj: Don't send me back to India. It's like the whole country is one big Comic-Con.

Leonard: Confidence not exuding.

Special Agent Page: Can my 6'2" Navy Seal husband come with us?

Sheldon: And here's my Justice League membership card.

Sheldon: 18 years ago I sent the FBI crime lab a bag of excrement that was burned on my front lawn.

Sheldon: You heard me say Blu-ray, right?

Sheldon: Sheldor to Smeldor.

Sheldon: I was afraid you were going to fixate on that Mars rover incident.

Sheldon: Sleep eludes me, Leonard.

Leonard: Maybe sleep has met you.

Sheldon: No Gorn no, that's where I sit.

Sheldon: When I first met Leonard he was on the verge of giving rocket secrets to a North Korean spy.

Sheldon: Chinese, six fingers, red hair, good bye.

Sheldon: I will offer you a one time only high-five.

Sheldon: I don't like the Olive Garden, they treat me like family.

Sheldon: Blame James "Jimmy" Carter.

Sheldon: I'll have a Rosewater Rickey.

Sheldon: To the Metric System!

Sheldon: Penny, you face failure on a daily basis, how do you cope?

Penny: You can't go back and unhump a girl's boyfriend.

Penny: Kirk cheated.

Sheldon: I'll reprogram Howard. To James Tiberius Kirk!

Raj: I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.

Penny: How long?

Leonard: 94 seconds.

This Week's Big Bang Theory Quotes "The Desperation Emanation"

Lots of relationship banter this week.

Quotes from tonight's episode of The Big Bang Theory:

Sheldon: She's a girl, she's a friend, she's not my (please forgive me for doing this) girlfriend.

Leonard: Ummmmm Shut up!

Sheldon; Allright I'll bow to social pressure, 'Hey!"

Raj: Two words, Deaf Chick!

Stewart: Comic Con , the one place in the world where saying "I own a comic bookstore is a pick-up line."

Amy: A stink of desperation.

Sheldon: I'm a physicist not a hippie!

Leonard: Long story short, they really have a little jail in the mall.

Sheldon: Got your back Jack, bitches be crazy!

Joy: Basically a hundred ways to rip a guy's nuts off.

Howard: I was once robbed by a pre-op transsexual I met on JDate.

Sheldon:  I assure you I'm quite real, and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.

Sheldon:  It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.

Tonight's Big Bang Theory Quotes "The Hot Troll Deviation"

Special guests tonight were Katee Sackhoff and George Takei

Quotes:

Raj (to Sheldon): If your were a superhero, you would be Captain Arrogance

Katee Sackhoff: Oh ravish me Howard, my loins ache for you.

Howard's Mom: I'm spillin' out like the Pillsbury Dough-boy here.

Wolowitz: Her name was Glacinda the Troll

Raj: It's purpose was to piss you off. I'd say it's spot on.

Wolowitz: You don't know anyone who wants to buy a wetsuit? Boys large?

Bernadette: I was right there in the next room while you were clicking that troll's brains out.

Wolowitz:  Took a scuba diving class this summer. Turns out I'm scared of the ocean."

Raj:  Where cattle walk  the street and no one has ever had a solid bowel movement.

Update on Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 10:29PM by Rick C.Limpert

And don't forget...

Leonard:  Sometimes your movements are so lifelike, I forget, you're not a real boy!

Big Bang Theory - Tonight's Best Quotes

It was a funny episode tonight, but a little weak in the funny quote division.

A special guest spot by Steve Wozniak was great to see.  Sheldon was up to his old tricks and we even got to hear Penny sing the "Kitty" song.

Here are some quotes:

Sheldon:  A Dogopus can play fetch with 8 balls. No one can hate that

Wolowitz:  Oh look, its Leonard & R2 D-Bag

Sheldon: I don't care much for turtlenecks or showmanship

Woz: I never got that turtleneck thing either

Woz: Nerds!