Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Zarnecki Incursion"

I should've posted this back when the episode first aired earlier this spring.  But, better late than never as this is the BBT episode airing tonight.

Can't wait a new season is right around the corner.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon:  They stole everything Leonard!

Sheldon:  And all my gold!

Sheldon:  Like a carcass in the desert sun.  Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Sheldon:  Glenn, the only bird I've ever loved.

Leonard:  Not the kind with access to drugs.

Sheldon:  How are you allowed to carry a gun.

Sheldon:  Can you refer me to a rogue ex-cop?

Sheldon:  What kind of world do we live in where another man would steal a battle ostrich.

Sheldon:  See if Raj is done with Pilates.

Raj:  He appears to be a member of the Nigerian Royal Family.

Sheldon:  Doodle Jump is a game, Angry Birds is a game.

Raj:  Bad news, the Nigerian Prince may be a fraud.

Penny:  Leonard was so phobic about stepping on medical waste I had to carry him to the ocean.

Amy:  I'm drunk

Penny:  Oh boy, my breast friends.

Penny:  No, but I can name all the Kardashians.

Bernadette:  I don't have a need to fling my waste.

Howard:  Our troll just walked in!

Raj:  He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.

Priya:  It's nice to date a boy trapped in a man's body.

Bernadette:  Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp.

Sheldon:  I never said these words before but good work Howard.

Sheldon:  The name and address drip with evil.

Sheldon:  It's in a cul-du-sac, we can box him in.

Sheldon:  Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva convention.

Sheldon:  Tonight we take back our dignity.

Raj:  i have a hip hop aerobics class at 5.  Can we go after?

Raj:  C'mon on man  Bros before....my sister.

Howard:  She's kind of a "Wheel" savant.

Raj:  Sitar music for a ring tone is not cool.

Howard: It's her super-power, that and jiggling her arm fat.

Sheldon:  Shamu is literally tons of fun.

Raj:  Legoland is more interactive.

Sheldon:  This say Beyonce bootylischious dance mix.

Raj:  She's curvy and she owns it, I like that.

Leonard:  Next time we go to kick someone's ass, we take the train.

Sheldon:  No weapon strikes more fear than a Klingon Bat leth.

Sheldon:  I'm Sheldor of Azaroth.

Raj:  Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Sheldon:  Todd Zarnecki was mean.

Penny:  I'm going to show you how we finish a quest in Nebraska.

Penny:  Today's the day a girl is finally going to touch you in your special place.

Jim Parsons to Make Appearance on iCarly

Popular actor, Jim Parsons, who is currently appearing on Broadway in the Tony-nominated revival of The Norman Heart, will guest star in a forthcoming episode of Nickelodeon's sit-com, iCarly, according to EW.com.

Parsons, who is best known for his Emmy Award-winning work as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, will be playing a psychiatric patient who thinks he comes from the future on iCarly.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Roommate Transmogrification"

Bernadette gets her Ph.D., making the guys to tease Wolowitz about his lack of a doctorate and will Raj become Sheldon's new roommate?

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon:  Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.

Howard:  Bonding over your rooty, tooty stinky booty.

Penny:  Howard you know a lot of doctors.

Leonard:  Do you make a buttload?

Howard:  I know what you make a buttload of.

Penny:  About the car window thing, it may help, but it's not peachy.

Priya:  I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.

Mrs. Wolowitz;  Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo.

Amy:  Yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.

Amy: Bear down on it like the 7th grade noogies we all know so well.

Sheldon:  My hands are magic!

Raj: Tyra Banks says the most important item in your make up bag is a good night sleep.

Leonard:  Mouth to mouth Mona.

Raj: Sheldon doesn't get along with Sheldon.

Raj:  A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Raj:  This says you can make end of life decisions for me.

Leonard: Bring a ball or Frisbee, something he can chase.

Sheldon:  I do a live webcast called "Apartment Chat."

Sheldon:  I'm just realized how much Leonard has been skating by all these years.

Raj:  Just call me the brown Martha Stewart.

Raj:  I'm the new homo in town.

Sheldon:  Origami napkin swans are the headline.

Bernadette:  I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project.

Sheldon:  When does a monkey have a trunk?

Penny:  When a suitcase just won't do.

Raj:  It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly disturbing pornography.

Sheldon:  And the answer was elephant.

Leonard: So, hot in India?

Sheldon: Rajesh and I hve a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it.

Sheldon: What does it look like?

The Big Bang Theory Quotes from 'The Engagement Reaction'

Howard's mother lands in the hospital after she finds out Howard and Bernadette may be engaged.  Are Penny and Priya getting chummy?

Here are the quotes:

Bernadette: Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?

Sheldon: I'm dead. 

Raj:  That's my sister and my country you are talking about.

Sheldon: He drank from Leonard's glass.  That will be etched on my tombstone.

Howard:  I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.

Raj: She's got puddles in all the wrong places.

Howard:  The eagle has landed. 

Howard:  You mean Adolf and Eva?

Howard:  Stand back, I'm going to break the door down!

Sheldon:  I don't jibber-jabber.

Penny:  You are about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.

Sheldon:  Not all germs, just the ones that will kill me.

Howard:  After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was on a roll.

Howard:  My family is the history of heart disease.

Bernadette:  I have sex with him and she can't.

Priya:  They called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.

Howard:  One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.

Sheldon:  Friendship requires a certain give and take.

Dr.:  She'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.

Raj: So you do a striptease?

Leonard:  There was one time I put body glitter on.

Leonard:  You really are a mean little man.

Leonard:  I'm the King of Foreplay.

Raj:  Hellhounds, who let the Satanic dogs out.

Raj: I've got a collosal serpent right here!

Raj: Rotting Zombie, Sheldon's new Facebook Photo.


Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Agreement Dissection"

Leonard has had it with Shelton's famous "roommate agreement" so Priya springs into action like any good lawyer.  Sheldon takes up dancing.

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon: 32 oz. banana smoothie, 14 oz. bladder.

Priya:  Leonard, let the man pee!

Sheldon: Move, move, move.

Leonard:  Cool, I have a lawyer, and I've seen her naked.

Leonard; Licensed to practice law in 3 countries and your face.

Leonard: Schooled!

Leonard: Shower sex with you is the second best thing that happened today.

The guys: ooompa!

Leonard:  I got you the lamb kabob.

Sheldon:  The Greeks, they gave us science, democracy and little cubes of beef that taste like sweat.

Penny:  We'll probably be trashing Priya a little.

Bernadette:  What's up with those pants suits?

Amy: See,  crazy!

Amy:  You smell like baby powder.

Sheldon: it's talc.

Amy: You're a sexy toddler.

Sheldon:  I had to give mouth to mouth to a nun.

Amy:  Give me some sugar bestie!

Bernadette:  I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.

Sheldon:  I saved a nun's life, why am I being punished.

Bernadette: Muy caliente, Sheldon!

Sheldon:  It's hard to say no to Yoo Who!

Sheldon:  You own a smoking monkey?

Amy:  I can train him to shoot a poisoned dart.  No jury in the world will convict a monkey.

Sheldon: A stylized penile display.

Sheldon:  You really are an ass.

Sheldon: I never bluff.

Computer: Self destruct sequence aborted.

Sheldon: Good morning Amy!

Amy: It most certainly is not.

Amy:  I also found a Korean businesman's business card tucked in my cleavage.

Amy: They were out of menthols, get off my back!