Modern Family Quotes from "Go Bullfrogs!"

While Phil takes Haley to look at a college, his alma mater, Claire, Cam and Mitchell go out on the town.  And will Jay and Gloria have "the talk" with Manny?

Here are the quotes:

Phil: College!

Claire: Go Bullfrogs!

Phil: You mean Bulldogs... do we croak or bark?

Manny: Bella has recently blossomed.

Gloria: Fuego y Hielo:  Fire and Ice.

Claire: I need a fun night out!

Claire; I need music, dancing and second-hand smoke.

Claire:  If that was your gay card it would be revoked.

Cam:  Does that mean no pot pies?

Phil: You aren't the first girl to leave me at this table with a plate full of chicken wings.

Claire: Nose job....

Claire: What do they do with all the butt they take out?

Mitchell:  I don't know about you, but I have about five minutes of fabulous left.

Gloria:  When did hats came back anyway?

Jay: Renaldo!

Phil: I chilled in a bar with some undergrads.

Longines: He's my trainer and he's straight.

Claire: Holy pythons, Batman!

Claire: And one upstate with Daddy.  The fun is just beginning.

Cam: Our pot pies could be anywhere by now.

Cam: Oh look, they went to see Jay-Z.

Cam: Maybe do some luxury camping.

Mitchell: We are in a rut!

Phil: It's a little cliche to pick out someone who looks exactly like your Dad.

Phil: You were an excellent back up shortstop.

Gloria: Jay, I beg of you, go, go go!

Manny: You think it's the coffee?

Jay: You get taller, when you get taller.

Jay: You see that. pretty soon that's how strong you'll be.

Julian : I'm not gay, I'm French!

Haley: That sweatshirt embarrasses me a little.

Haley: So, is it really fun!

Manny: Why what did you think I was doing?

Jay: He could've got a 2-year subscription to Playboy for that.

Cam: That night we ate like kings.

English 101 with Dr. Conan T. Barbarian

If you go to Trinity College, this is one professor you don't want.  Trinity College in Dublin was spoofed last Thursday when an unknown prankster posted an academic profile of its newest English lecturer: a certain Conan T. Barbarian, complete with Hollywood mug shot of a shirtless, sword-clad Arnold Schwarzenegger in his maiden film role.

Trinity removed the parody site — but not before dozens of fans had archived the Web page of the mock biography and turned it into an Irish viral sensation.

Trinity spokeswoman Caoimhe Ni Lochlainn said the university had never had its Web site disrupted like this before. She confirmed that Trinity was certain it was an inside job, not the work of a hacker.

Dr. Barbarian's profile is great.  It contains a warrior's feast of references to the arcane plot of the 1982 film, which was critically panned but a box-office hit that launched Schwarzenegger's movie career.

It claims he has been preparing for the rigors of academic life since being "ripped from his mother's womb."

His Ph.D thesis is titled "To Hear the Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature," which refers to a line in the classic movie.

The parody faculty listing claims he was appointed to the School of English "after successfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in legend and song."

It cites his upcoming courses as including "Vengeance for Beginners" and "Deciphering the Riddle of Steel."

That riddle is central to the film's plot and concerns whether a sword is more powerful than a man. Answer: Nope.

Conan's stated classroom policy is to crucify students who cheat or show weakness.  A reminder never to show weakness in an English class.

Can Houston Nutt Survive the Season at Ole Miss?

There were many questions about Houston Nutt's job status coming into the 2011 college football season.  Nobody was happy after a 4-8 season; that included fans, alums, players, and administration.

Nutt failed to help his job security Saturday in a 30-7 loss to Vanderbilt in the Southeastern Conference opener for both teams.

“I’m just real disappointed, very disappointed because I know we’re better than that,” a dejected Nutt said.

Scoreless midway through the second quarter, the Rebels allowed Vanderbilt to pull away with 21 points inside the final six minutes before halftime. The Commodores (3-0) now have won five of the last seven games in this series.

The Rebels looked far from sharp with five turnovers, six penalties and a bevy of missed tackles.

If there was just one aspect of the game the Rebels needed improvement in that would be one things.  The problem is Ole Miss isn't doing anything well.

The Rebels showed a lack of discipline with four false start penalties by three different offensive linemen. Center A.J. Hawkins also sailed a snap high over Mackey’s head early in the third quarter, leading to a safety when Jeff Scott kicked it through the end zone.

Nutt said he was most disappointed in the offense after a good week of practice. He even got senior running back Brandon Bolden back from a hairline fracture in his left ankle in the opening loss to BYU. Bolden ran eight times for 39 yards, though not nearly enough.

To Nutt's credit, he didn't sugar coat the situation.  “We could never get anything in synch, could never get anything going offensively,” Nutt said. “That’s what was frustrating. Just looked bad, looked really bad.”

It doesn't get any easier for the Rebels in the coming weeks.  The first four SEC opponents on the schedule are Georgia, Alabama, Arkanssas, and Auburn.  At 2-6, can Nutt keep his job?

Oklahoma Remains Top College Football Team in Poll

Oklahoma remained the top team in the latest Associated Press college football poll after its victory at Florida State.

The Sooners received 37 first-place votes this week, five more than a week ago, and a total of 1,471 points from the nationwide poll of media.

LSU is No. 2 this week after its 19-6 win at Mississippi State, while Alabama dropped a spot to third following a 41-0 rout of overmatched North Texas. The Tigers received 14 first-place votes and the Crimson Tide picked up seven.

Boise State, which rolled to a 40-15 win at Toledo on Friday, earned the other two first-place votes and remained fourth.

Stanford is up to fifth followed by Wisconsin, Oklahoma State, Texas A&M, Nebraska and Oregon.

The Ohio State Buckeyes were ranked 17th before a 24-6 loss to Miami-Florida on Saturday, they are now unranked. That setback came after a narrow 27-22 win at home against Toledo the previous week. The last time Ohio State was unranked was November 20, 2004.

In addition to Ohio State' Auburn, Arizona State, Michigan State and Mississippi State also departed this week's poll. Michigan State was No. 15 before dropping a 31-13 decision at Notre Dame, while Mississippi State was ranked 25th before its loss to LSU.

SAT Scores Falling, Falling, Falling

SAT reading scores for the high school class of 2011 were the lowest on record, and combined reading and math scores fell to their lowest point since 1995.

The College Board, which released the scores Wednesday, said the results reflect the record size and diversity of the pool of test-takers. As more students aim for college and take the exam, it tends to drag down average scores.

Meanwhile, other tests taken by more representative groups of high school students have shown reading skills holding steadier. And in the context of the 800-point test, the three-point decline in reading scores to 497 may seem little more than a blip.

Still, it’s just the second time in the last two decades reading scores have fallen as much in a single year. And reading scores are now notably lower than as recently as 2005, when the average was 508. Average math scores for the class of 2011 fell one point to 514 and scores on the critical reading section fell two points to 489.

College Board officials pointed to a range of indicators that the test-taking pool has expanded, particularly among Hispanics, which is a good sign that more students are aspiring to college. For instance, roughly 27 percent of the 1.65 million test-takers last year came from a home where English was not the only language, up from 19 percent just a decade ago.

Gary Phillips, chief scientist at the American Institutes of Research, cautioned against using SAT scores to measure national performance.

Overall on reading, “I think we’re treading water in the long-run,” Phillips said, citing other tests like the National Assessment of Educational Progress. “In the short run, we’ve had a few blips in a couple directions. Based on the international comparisons, however, we’re still not doing all that well.”

Bob Schaeffer, public education director of the group Fair Test, a longtime critic of the SAT, found unpersuasive the College Board’s explanation that the declines were due largely to a broadening test pool. In 2003, he said, the number of SAT-takers expanded by a greater percentage than last year, but scores that year rose 6 points on math and reading.

“Yes, changing test-taker demographics matter,” he said. “No, they don’t explain a 18-point drop (in combined scores) over five years.”