Big Bang Theory Quotes from "The Rhinitis Revelation"

Sheldon's mom pays the guys a visit and there is a shocking revelation that will not be in Sheldon's weekly e-mail blast.

Shedon: Your God can work miracles.

Sheldon's Mom: Gunning with God.

Sheldon's Mom: If Shelly was onboard, he's write smut mouth on his pigeon.

Sheldon's Mom: I do regret not following up with that specialist in Houston.

Leonard: Kung Fu letters may not be politically correct.

Shedon: There is big news on the Amy front.

Leonard; Her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to Crisco, but you can't make his mother fry it.

Leonard; You son seems to think we need to launch a pre-emptive strike on Burbank.

Sheldon's Mom: I thought it was our Indians that has the occasional alcohol problem.

Sheldon's Mom: Woman could hunt geese with a rake.

Sheldon: It was in my weekly e-mail blast!

Sheldon: Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.

Penny: Sometimes they only get to spin the tea cups.

Howard: I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year.

Sheldon: I worked up a couple of Q's that will embarrass his sorry A.

Sheldon: Your sushi, your sadness and your slutty shirts.

Sheldon: I apologized and that was hard for me.

Leonard:  I'm going to take my bacon grease and head over there.

Sheldon's Mom: I'm going to thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.

Sheldon: Or to use the clinical term Na-Ah

Sheldon's Mom: This one is sweet for your Rosary Rattlers.

Raj: None of our Gods have abs like that.

Sheldon's Mom: Coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

Howard: I'm trying not to burst into flames.

Sheldon: Smarty Pants!

Sheldon's Mom: I so should've taken you to Houston.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Russian Rocket Reaction"

Sheldon and Leonard get invited to a party at Wil Wheaton's house, and Howard gets an out-of-this-world opportunity.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation's" Wil Wheaton and Brent Spiner guest star.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: Is this really the sword to start with.

Sheldon: It would give you the right to rule a replica of England.

Stuart: I can eat meat this week.

Wil Wheaton: There will be girls.

Stuart: Another Wil Wheaton sausage fest.

Sheldon: You are my friend and not my friend.

Sheldon: I characterize this as Schrodinger's friendship.

Sheldon: Mohammed Lee

Sheldon: You sicken me.

Howard: All systems go, if you catch my drift?

Howard: There's a saying we have at NASA....

Bernadette: Oh boo who, you're not going to space.

Penny: Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.

Sheldon: In fact, I have 61 of them.  It's on a 5 1/4 inch floppy.

Sheldon: It was cooler to be the left center square on Hollywood Squares.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Over my dead body my son is going into outer space!

Raj: You're the first one of us to kick a girl out of bed.  You're a rock star!

Sheldon: Excuse me Stormtroopers, these ARE the droids you are looking for.

Bernadette: He can't go to space.  He's like a baby bird.

Bernadette: He once got an asthma attack reading an old library book.

Sheldon: The one kid from Stand By Me that nobody remembers.

Sheldon: Brent Spiner is there too.

Sheldon: I think I've kind of out grown Star Trek.

Bernadette: You got sea sick on Pirates of the Caribbean.

Sheldon: Fighting for our friendship.  You're still my "little buddy"

Sheldon: Look everyone, Wil Wheaton is my friend!

Sheldon: Your name on my list!

Sheldon: From this point on, you are my mortal enemy.

Leonard: Two for 30, and you come to my birthday party!

Brent Spiner: Deal! 

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From 'The Infestation Hypothesis'

A fight between Penny and Sheldon has Amy Farrah Fowler caught in the middle and Raj and Wolowitz kiss.

Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: A Dinfast date.

Sheldon: A fellow in Kansas with an enormous ball of twine.

Sheldon: When I rise to power those people will be sterilized.

Sheldon: If we were an old married couple the wife would be serving iced tea and snickerdoodles.

Sheldon: it's a chair worthy of the name.

Raj: This is one good looking panini.

Howard: Does that include doing the cyber nasty?

Howard; The digital pickle tickle?

Raj: A fancy guy with a turban that grew up with Kama Sutra coloring books.

Leonard: Chicken nuggets you were sure they were human nuggets

Penny: My couch, I found half a hot pocket in there.

Leonard: It's like living with a Chihuahua.

Sheldon: So they may remove the chair of death.

Leonard: You're a dirty, disgusting, revolting girl!

Priya: Here I am baby, you miss these?

Sheldon: I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.

Amy: Besties, BFF's sisters who would share traveling pants.

Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City

Howard: See, internet kissing.

Raj: I was being playful.

Amy: Something in the chair is biting my tushy

Raj: What kind of an idiot throws out a terrific chair like this?

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From 'The Skank Reflex Analysis'

A new season of The Big Bang Theory.  The gang deals with the aftermath of the shocking sexual hookup that ended season four.  What will they do?  Also, Sheldon takes control of the guy's paintball team.
Here are the quotes:

Sheldon: It''s not what it looks like.

Sheldon: I can't, so I shant!

Sheldon: The worms crawl out of the rectum for air.

Sheldon: Penny could've been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.

Raj: I'm Penny's #2 choice after Bernadette

Sheldon:  I've decided my rank should be captain.

Leonard: Oh Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Sheldon: By the way, I do have genitals.

Amy: I've heard who you did.

Penny: Dr. Jeckyl and Mrs. Whore

Amy: She engaged in interspecies hanky panky, but people still call her great.

Amy: The Skank Reflex!

Leonard's Mom: Buck up!

Leonard's Mom: Buck up sissy pants!

Penny: I got a call back for hemorrhoid commercial

Amy: Try to keep it in your pants, ok.

Raj: Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo

Penny: Oh God, did you pull some weird Indian crap on me.

Raj: I'm always packing.

Raj: Can I say I ruined you for white men?

Sheldon: Whenever you are ready AT&T!

Raj: Screw you, that was a beautifully written penis metaphor.

Sheldon: Jamba Juice is for heroes

Sheldon: Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.

Sheldon: if there's ever a church of Sheldon, this is where it started.

Sheldon: With my last breathe, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion.

Penny: What ya doing, Quick Draw?

Sheldon: Have you ever thought of teaching physics?

Commercial: The H is for her.

The Big Bang Theory Quotes From "The Roommate Transmogrification"

Bernadette gets her Ph.D., making the guys to tease Wolowitz about his lack of a doctorate and will Raj become Sheldon's new roommate?

Here are tonight's quotes.

Sheldon:  Leonard produces copious amounts of methane.

Howard:  Bonding over your rooty, tooty stinky booty.

Penny:  Howard you know a lot of doctors.

Leonard:  Do you make a buttload?

Howard:  I know what you make a buttload of.

Penny:  About the car window thing, it may help, but it's not peachy.

Priya:  I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume.

Mrs. Wolowitz;  Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo.

Amy:  Yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.

Amy: Bear down on it like the 7th grade noogies we all know so well.

Sheldon:  My hands are magic!

Raj: Tyra Banks says the most important item in your make up bag is a good night sleep.

Leonard:  Mouth to mouth Mona.

Raj: Sheldon doesn't get along with Sheldon.

Raj:  A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Raj:  This says you can make end of life decisions for me.

Leonard: Bring a ball or Frisbee, something he can chase.

Sheldon:  I do a live webcast called "Apartment Chat."

Sheldon:  I'm just realized how much Leonard has been skating by all these years.

Raj:  Just call me the brown Martha Stewart.

Raj:  I'm the new homo in town.

Sheldon:  Origami napkin swans are the headline.

Bernadette:  I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project.

Sheldon:  When does a monkey have a trunk?

Penny:  When a suitcase just won't do.

Raj:  It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly disturbing pornography.

Sheldon:  And the answer was elephant.

Leonard: So, hot in India?

Sheldon: Rajesh and I hve a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it.

Sheldon: What does it look like?